I believe in a lot of stuff and cosmic powers and protection of the dead and all of that sort of thing is part of it. I know that I am not always the nicest of people, I actually am a bottler, I prefer to keep it all inside until the bottle gets too full to keep the lid on and then it bubbles out and eventually erupts like someone shook it up.
To those that experience this…. I apologize. I don’t mean to lash out at you but most of the time I don’t properly channel my rage.
That being said. I would like to specifically apologize to Neph. You’re probably one of my best friends and I don’t mean to take any of my angry energy out on you.
Over the years I’ve worked on it… you guys should have seen me 7 years ago, just out of high school…. But this doesn’t mean that I have it completely under control and I’m sorry.
As for the subject of this… I think that my recent upset, fueled by my dead brother David’s birthday -which is today mind you – was helped along by my brother. My unintentional rage got me banned from a favorite site of mine without warning… which I take offense to since I have been a part of this site for a year. I think that a warning, suspension or something a little more appropriate then an outright ban for snippy behavior, would have been more appropriate but who cares? I’ve taken the motto C’est La Vie for a reason. I think this reason was because my brother was trying to tell me that I need to calm down and start easing myself back into things I really enjoy instead of spending my time in an alternate reality with other people, that it’s time for me to probably start making my alternate realities and writing my own stuff again, take up my old hobbies, design websites again…. to really settle myself in my head instead of letting a whole bunch of other people dictate my musedom.
For this I love my brother even though I hate what happened (and the way it happened) and I hate not being able to enjoy the people there that I enjoyed for so long. To those that I hurt their feelings. I’m sorry loves.
I hoped you all have a fantastic day. <3333
PS. I’m going to get a comparison picture of my son and my brother David to show how much they look alike…. it’s uncanny.