So I’ve still been stressed. I think I find it hard to write about my life when I’m stressed. I think that stems from the fact that if I write about my stressful life, while I’m stressed about it, it just makes me MORE stressed. It’s just not very fun to say the least. So any of my loyal followers that like to read my random rants, I apologize. With the stupid stepdad stuff and then the move I’ve just not been all ranty and ravey. Well that’s not true, I HAVE been all ranty and ravey but I just haven’t been motivated to talk about it.

Tonight isn’t bad but I don’t really have much to rave about. That is unless you count my ankle!

So! I’ve been moving the past week and up and down stairs, lift, back pain, exhaustion right? Well this is awesome! I’m sitting here walking down the stairs with a big drawer from the armoire and I seemed to forget how the stairs worked, or the step vanished like in HP because I went from having 3 steps left until the landing to sitting on the landing floor with a hurting ankle and tears streaming down my face

THIS WAS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THAT THIS HOUSE ATTACKED ME THIS WEEK!

The first time I was sitting down at the computer after a long days work, relaxing on the floor when BAM! the bed frame to my bed came crashing down on my head! (Awesome I just rhymed a little) It cut my head open and I was crying then too. I swear I haven’t cried that much since my husband told me that he wanted a divorce or the last time that I thought about my brother Davey. Sad days in the Morrigan house. Right now I’m hoping that my ankle will improve drastically by tomorrow. I really hate hobbling and I hate not being to help like I should. I’m a strong woman, or not a wimpy one, and so I should be lifting things not frowning and hobbling about when I can’t seem to get something or it hurts because I can’t walk right.

The kids like the new house though. Fae was given her own Harry Potter-esque room under the stairs. It was mostly because she was complaining about it and Grandma is awesome so she gave her, her own room. Grandma-win on this one. She went to bed down there tonight and we’ll see how it works out in the morning. Really I just need to get a job so I can get my own place but the economy in AZ SUCKS!!! Just thought I’d put that out there. Also, the neighbors here are very awesome! Great kid neighborhood and the parents seem very friendly. I didn’t even feel like an outsider, like my kids will be set apart, no, they seem to be fitting right in which is especially awesome.

So, on top of Madness fail I’m also wootfailing at my webcomic. I haven’t updated for a few weeks there either. about the same amount that I’ve been missing posting here. I will be changing that shortly though! I intend to be doing a week of webcomics starting Monday so that you all know that I’m not dead and that I love you for reading my bizarre stuff. I hope that will make up for the weeks miss and keep you reading for the weeks to come.

Website updates?

I’m a domain name addict. I just bought two new domains that will probably sit dormant until I figure out what to do with them. I got Woothappens.com and RPersanonymous.com. I know what I’m going to do with RPers Anonymous, it’s going to be an RP resource forum for both administrators and roleplayers. It will probably start off on something self-hosted but if it grows enough I think I will ask for donations to upgrade it to IPB. (IPB is by far the best forum software in the world) As for Woot Happens I think that I might make it into some sort of site that you can submit your Woot moments and link it to Wootflakes. We’ll see. ^_^

I think that’s it for now. Nighty Night everyone! Unpleasant dreams…. or whatever that Elvira lady used to say.

Okay. I am not going to apologize again. I haven’t been posting. It’s been hectic. I’m trying to get back into everything. To add insult to injury I didn’t even post the last two weeks of webcomics. I will be getting that done soon.

SO! LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW UPDATES!

LAST NIGHT! I was in a fashion show as the queen of spades. Are you ready to see me all scary and stuff? READY! REALLY! ARE YOU READY! *is a little hyper*
http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/cese/Red%20Queen/
BE AFRAID! In some of those photos I think I look a bit like Hatchet Face from Cry Baby. Other then that I think I looked awesome.

The Fashion show was fun. I mentioned the fact that I was 25 and I was told AGAIN that I didn’t look 25. Confused and not sure what to think, as this was about the 5th time I’ve heard it in the past 2 weeks, I mentioned the fact that I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. I was told I looked 18 or 19. I felt pretty good. That’s 7 years shaved off of my age so I am feeling pretty nifty at the moment.

My daughter and son walked the runway as well. Troy walked with me and he did really good and my daughter walked with her best friend Avery and they got a adorable laugh and they enjoyed every second of the not waiting portions of the night. They absolutely loved the dresses my mum made, I loved the dresses my mum made and I WILL be getting more pictures soon. The ones I posted above are from after the show that I took when I got home, unfortunately everyone else got undressed pretty quickly.

After the show I came home, tweeted like a mad woman and passed out!

During the show some guys thought I looked awesome in my costume! My mum did a great job! Also a few looked like Glambert (aka Adam Lambert) Sadly I had more glitter in my hair then they had on them which made me a little more Glambert then them but they were still good looking. One of them looked like the actor that played John Connor in the original T2 movie. Older of course, like he had grown up, but he was really hot. Guyliner FTW!

I’m moving soon. It wasn’t planned but it is necessary so things are still stressful here. No promises on constant updates but I will be updating when I can. I will especially update when I’m less stressed because I enjoy giving everyone a play by play on my day. It keeps my brain a little more lucid which is good for an addled brain like mine.

I’m back to RPing. I’m on two sites, one of which I own and operate. I am enjoying it but I am going to try and continue to write outside of RP but again, that whole stress deal. I’ve been more stressed then normal because I contracted myself to do some work and I felt a little more pressured then I would have liked. It made my brain shut down from IPB coding. I know I’m not willing to sacrifice my mind for something that will hurt me and my kids in the long run and so I’m done with that. I might still do freelance but it will have to be on my own terms. No more coding on someone else’s terms or time. It is my time and my brain, people will have to live with it that way.

I think that is it for now. I will post more hopefully tomorrow! Goodnight everyone!

Okay. So I’ve been a major Morrfail lately and I’ve not been posting in my blog. I’m pretty stressed out but I hope to get back into my groves this week. I don’t think it helps that I’ve been going to sleep at like 9PM, I must be getting old really. The last week or so has been relatively regular except for a few things, like my stepdad serving my mum with divorce papers. Bad day in the house.

So why am I Melodramatic Morrigan? Well last night, while watching Bones *Weird I know but keep reading* I realized something that made me very depressed.  I am twenty five with two kids and no opportunities for romance anymore. I’m going to die by my worst fear, alone. I was just thinking about how impossible it is to hold a romantic relationship with two kids, it’s hard enough without them. I can’t even think of a reason why someone would be interested in me.

So I was thinking about it and I’m 25, not very old, and my life is (proverbial) already over. I can’t image a person that would want to be with me romantically while I have kids, especially kids that are as young as they are. I am a romantic at heart and sometimes watching romantic movies, shows, reading books and all that jazz really hurts. I want would adore having someone romantically interested in me, but I know that isn’t possible for me anymore. I am not sure that I would be able to accept romantic interest without a lot of pushing from someone that is interested in me.

I’m very lonely and I fear I will always be lonely because there may be no room for romance left in my life and even if it showed up I’m not sure I would accept it or recognize it. I want it but how could I accept it?

Forever lonely,
Morrigan

So yesterday I didn’t post. No excuse really, I fell asleep after a nice bath to soak my bones and muscles. It was a long day and I didn’t have the energy to do much after I put my kids to sleep.

So, onto the days activities (or yesterdays).

So I woke up and called my daughter’s teacher explaining that I couldn’t get her the vaccination and she said she’d call me back. She called me back and said that she’d work it out when I got to the class. We went to the class and there seemed to be no problems. Fantastic. Afterward it was a drive to the Zoo, waiting and then we got to go inside the zoo!

Well a zoo, like any other zoo, has a lot of animals and involves a lot of walking. With a two year old and a four year old (the forgotten stroller at home) it was a long day of looking and making sure they didn’t run away too far from me. Now this was probably one of the many times I’ve considered getting those child leashes. It was a lot of chasing and, sadly, yelling to make sure that my daughter didn’t run too far off with her friend Nate. Now I’m 25, I’m not old, I just don’t move very fast because I like to relax as I go. On top of that I was also carrying my son the entire time because he didn’t want to walk very often. Up, down, stop go. It was a long day and probably would have been better had I remembered the stroller for my son. >_<

We saw lots of animals. Giraffes I think was my daughter’s favorite along with the bear and the elephants and the monkeys and the horses.

I think my favorite part was either dancing on the endangered animal carousel between my kids OR! Petting the stingrays. They feel slimey but it’s awesome and my daughter got to touch one. Unfortunately she dropped the shrimp so she didn’t get to feed them. Yeah I’m weird but dancing on a carousel is hard because the centripetal force throws off your balance a little.

Also I think I took on Best Dressed Mom yesterday. I wore my black and white sundress with black goth boots and messy bun hair (which got messier from the son on the shoulders).

So it was a good day, long day and my kids had a ton of fun and I got to dance. All around win. It was even more win that my kids fell asleep almost the moment I started the car. It was cute and I’ll post the blurry pictures on twitpic here in a bit.

Okay, so I didn’t post a blog last night. My apologies. I’m sort of addicted to watching people play this trilogy of games, God of War. I watched my ex play through one and two and my brother got three a few days ago and last night I was watching him play until four in the morning…. well sort of. I fell asleep about 3 or four times in the process of watching him play but I was doing that last night instead of producing a fantastic blog for everyone to read. Why? Because I could and because I wanted to watch the epicness that is God of War. On top of that I was really a little (lot) disappointed with Alice in Wonderland.

Yeah! I’m a big Alice in Wonderland fan and I went to finally see Alice in Wonderland yesterday, as excited to see it as I’ve ever been, and I left feeling empty inside. It was like the movie was the perfect soup, it had all of the right ingredients but something was still off about it. I mean I think that making Alice in Wonderland dark and all that is a fantastic idea. I loved the cast, the director but not the movie. I think this movie was by far my biggest let down of a movie that I had ever seen. I don’t see many movies in theaters and I feel like I sort of wasted my time with watching this one instead of waiting until it came out on DVD. I probably should have just waited for Prince of Persia. Sadly? I think the credits were my favorite part. <_<

I think that’s it for my yesterday updates.

Today! I went to the Arboretum with my mum and kids and my mum’s friend Hilary and her kids. It was the first time I have been and it was enjoyable. It was like a nice long nature walk. Fun. I’m pretty sore from the adventure mostly because I don’t exercise a lot but I am thinking about taking up Yoga. I find that the Wii Fit *when I could find the silly thing* made me really happy with the Yoga stuff. I think I’ll be buying myself a new Wii and a new Wii fit since I have to send mine to my ex. I just need something calming that I think I need to start and end the day out with. Nothing too intense because it exhausts me and I prefer to relax and be more aware.

I’m putting together my newest webcomic. Another one that I will probably be the only one that understands the joke but if you want to understand it then please feel free to ask me, I’m always glad to fill you in on my bizarre bit of humor.

Okay, I’d probably talk and prattle on more but my brother is playing God of War and I have a comic to post tomorrow!
Hope you’re having a good day! ^_^

Okay, I admit. I forgot to enable the Akismet spam checker right from the get go but now it’s on so stop bothering me you spam fuckers! I loathe spam with a fire hotter then hell! Spam is one of those evils that you wish would just die a burning death and then the world would be happier, but I doubt it. It would be one less thing for me to gripe about so I would need to find a new something to gripe about and that wouldn’t be fun…. Okay, it would be fun but I would pretend not to like it.

Things that I did today? I moved my stuff out of storage and into a garage! Real improvement huh? Well the rent is cheaper to store the same amount of stuff. After the storage stuff I cleaned.

You know what sucks about the storage thing though? My brother Kyle promised to help with it and yet when it came down to it he wouldn’t. Now I understand that he worked the graveyard last night but he knew that I was doing this today and he knew I needed his help and yet when I asked if he was ready all I got was “bitch, bitch, bitch”. Now I knew I shouldn’t be too demanding, he was supposed to be doing me a favor but that’s not the point. He promised he’d help and then he decided it was too hard and then he just didn’t help. It’s really stupid because he does this a lot and then he expects me to do things for him and be nice to him. He doesn’t quite understand that it doesn’t work that way, whatever. I guess next time he needs help really badly It will just be too hard to do it because I stayed up too late the night before and my kids woke me up too early.

I think I lost my train of thought for today. I cleaned I loved I moved stuff. There isn’t much more to the day.

The other day I saw an epic bike cop setup for catching red light runners on a “No turn on red” talk about hiding in plain site. He was sitting on the sidewalk of the freeway bridge. He owned someone as I passed by.

Website wise I didn’t get much done today. I am considering coding an IP.Content Wiki and I almost have all of the default Smilies replaced with my Ebi1 R0ot ones. Ebi1 is one cute spork. He still hates me for that.  I hope some more people join soon but probably not. It’s not all that great and all that jazz but I can be hopeful. I need more then one person to talk to. It gets boring only talking to a single person.

I think that’s it for tonight. I don’t feel extremely talkative so I hope you’re having a good day.