Oh the pain and pleasure of editing!

Pretty much I have gotten stuck somewhere around chapter 7 which is 50 pages into the story. Now I know why I’m stuck, I have neglected important information that one of the characters needs in order to continue on. Well that is never a good thing and often time gets to what I’m stuck in… writer’s block. I’m not fully blocked I’m just having a hard time continuing with the story since the character that needs the information doesn’t have it. So what should I do?

Well if you are like half of the other writers that I know that say “just keep writing” then leave me be. You obviously have no idea, not only how, but why my brain works the way it does. If you are a psychologist perhaps you could tell me. Pretty much, since the story doesn’t have the information my muse/character/person that I’m writing for refuses to continue to write as if they have the information. since they refuse to write I have to go back and fix it. Why not power through it like half of the other writers in the world seem to think I should? Because it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t work to just keep going. If the character needs the information just powering through it may leave that information out, even in edits. So my brain shuts down until I fix it.

So that being said I have been working on re-reading the previous parts of my story and editing as I go to find the best place to interject the information that I need, to add it so that the character has it. now re-reading some of my chapters I see some of the more major flaws that I had in them. They are even a little stale or lacking in detail which makes me glad for this initial re-write. It makes me happy that I can question my motivation and how I’m portraying the information to the reader. I now know that I need to put forth more detail in my work.

More mannerisms, more information. I realize that I show absolutely no motivation or information for why Fillip or Violet are the way they are or even what happened to Violet and Kane. After this realization I also realized that I never intended to elaborate so you would just have to deal with half the information that you would need to properly understand the character dynamics between them so I need to add that information in somewhere as well. Like how long have Violet, Fillip and Kane known each other? Are they friends? Lovers? Have they ever been? Will they ever be again? What is their relation to one another in the story? While I know that information, I realize that I’m not providing that information to the reader. So in essence a pre-edit edit to fix my writers block is proving to be a good thing.

In other news I am thinking about finishing Card Rebellion, the Alice in Wonderland RP I was wanting to work on. I have it half done. I need to finish the detail information and the premade list and once I’ve done that then I think it would be ready. I think I would definitely need a reliable co-admin, someone that could be there when I’m not. Unfortunately I can never seem to find one of those.

Madness news we have a Facebook Connect app so if you like my facebook page you will get Madness updates every time I post. So please do so and you will get e-cookies. I may also be adding a Facebook widget to the sidebar so I can see who loves me most. <333

I have also joined a few Sites, if you want to friend or add me on them just send me a message in any fashion you know how to get a hold of me (which normally is a lot of ways) or PM me on the site directly. The sites I’ve joined are as follows:
RedRoom
Authonomy
GoodReads

Add me, follow me, whatever. I <33 you if you want to chat. Definitely have no problem doing it while I’m online.

Lastly, I think, Knights of Cydonia is doing very well. The activity picked up last week so if you want to be a part of my story book world before it even reaches print (it’s sort of a laxer AU version but it works) then come check us out and join Knights of Cydonia!

So if you knew it or not I’m working on writing a book and to do that I’ve been reading a rather informative book on how to get myself published. Mind you I’m an extremely slow reader and I have had little time to actually do any writing with being exhausted from work but I’m trying really hard. I have my game plan in motion on how I want to continue I just need the time and focus to do so. So, back to the explanation, it talks about networking and making a market for my book, finding that market or seeking it out. Now, that sounds like a great plan but I find a few flaws with that system.

Who is my market?

While I want to believe everyone is my market, obviously my market will stray to the Sci-Fi fantasy people and even maybe on the slightly gothic side.

Well Sci-Fi is an extremely broad realm, where would I start?

Well you’d think at Sci-Fi sites, but I go to a Sci-Fi site and all I see are things about pace and things. So I have a niche of Sci-Fi right? Dystopia. Because that is a sub genre for Sci-Fi that my book should fall into.

Where do I go for Dystopia?

http://dystopia.com/ That’s the obvious choice right? But where is the community behind that? There are great film and book suggestions there but where is the community I’m looking for. So lets google it. When you google Dystopia you get facts and lists of Dystopia as a genre, still no community right?

Well what about who inspired it? Muse.

Well there is a great community that follows muse but what would make them interested in a “Muse inspired Dystopia”? What would draw that crowd to me as a writer? Well our love of Muse but I’m not a deeply musical person. I love music but how does that fit in with a book that I want to publish to promote it? Well get the people and they will love it? Well I want to but how does one wriggle there way into the community of something so intertwined? What would one do to try and reach out to other Muse fans and tell them that I am inspired to write a book that might be to their fancy as it is inspired by the same music that they listen to? How would one truly integrate themselves?

Well there is always building a website?

Well I have websites. I have many in fact. I even have a roleplay based in the world that I have created for this book, mind you it is far more lax then the actual book will be because I have to make it playable but it is a website dedicated to the world the book is in.

Then get people attracted to the site!

Ok! Come to http://knightsofcydonia.org join and RP! Did it work? Did I get you hooked enough to join? Have questions? Ask me there. *tests said theory*

Another method is to do things like Podcasts and Tweets and Facebook about myself, about my book, about things my book is about and things like that. Well that’s fine and dandy if I were making a book on how the world today is a Dystopia but I am not (mind you I do believe modern day America is a modern day Dystopia, ruled and controlled by the market, want to know more show your interest and I will blog about it). Now Podcasts, Sure, I’ll do a podcast but what would it be about? Same things I’ve been talking about? I really want to start building this world of people interested in my work but really where does it start for a fiction writer? Where would I push to get people to like me as an author?

My answer to that is through my blog here. While I only update semi-regularly I think that this is my best bet to gain any interest whatsoever. I do post my chapters to my Fanfiction here. I think that I may try to write short stories and post them here too. I certainly think that it would do me a world of good to concentrate on something that will focus me artistically, even if I’m tired. It says to work hard and work tirelessly. Well I’m already tired so lets either get changed into a vampire or turned into a zombie so I can work even harder. I want to do this. I CAN do this! I have never wanted something to be completed so badly in my life.

Here is my attempt as a working tirelessly person:

• I will try to post something on this blog at minimum bi-weekly.
• I will try to post a short story set in the world I am creating at least monthly.
• I will try to keep this schedule as best as I can, even when stressed, tired or otherwise physically and mentally strained.
• I will try to respond to all tweets/facebook requests and blog comments in a timely fashion.
• I will try to keep up with my social networking medias so that you know that I am diligently trying to get this done.
• I will try to post updates as far as which chapter I have completed and how many words are done on the story, periodically.
• I will try to be a better person/mother/girlfriend/daughter/sister even during times that I may feel pressured or sad.
• I will try not to cop out and talk only about my emotions, having ideas and writing them down when I get them.
• I will ask for advice on things that I may not know much about.
• I will make myself as available as I can to both connect with people and be helpful in things that you may need help with.
• I will get published no matter what it takes.

So, I have a new boy that I am dating and he has a somewhat obsessive ex that thought that he was cheating on her with me because we chatted on IM. Long story short it wasn’t true. He broke up with her and now she’s causing a big massive amount of llama drama which is sadly not llama-ey, just drama-ey.

Now to continue this fantastic story the other day she sent the boy in question a message that appeared to be a copy and paste of a FB conversation that she had started with me. Mind you, I have only sent her one correspondence and that was because she demanded one from me , to the boy. So I sent her a message back, that was pre-approved by both my Internet wife and my boy before I sent it. SO, this message was as follows:

Just so you know, we did sleep together. He’s not yours to control and he can do whatever he wants.
Also the hickeys were from me, but had I known he wouldn’t last that long I may have thought twice.
So you know what why don’t you stay away from him. He doesn’t want you anymore.
He’s found a better woman to be with, he doesn’t even know you exist anymore so just give up!
He told me how bad you were, how crazy you are. Well guess what, now he’s mine just like I knew he’d be.
So get lost and stay away from MY man.

Now reading that, if you don’t know me, is pretty good attempt at trying to pretend to be me. Unlike this person, there is capitalization and punctuation and even seems somewhat coherent, it’s not even close to something I would write. Lets break it down on how Un-Morrigan like it really is.

• First things first, I ALWAYS name the puppy. I don’t care if you know exactly what or who I’m talking about, if I’m being administrative in any way I name the puppy so Geo( my boy’s name) would have been mentioned first sentence.
• While I can be talkative I’m not long winded. If anything, as you can tell, I am rather blunt.
• I tend to not use the phrase Just so you know, especially when I’m talking to someone that I’m not on good terms with. It’s just not a common phrase unless I’m on the phone informing someone of something extra. This information that I supposedly wrote was not just a “so you know” thing. This correspondence that I wrote is more or less a “bitch please” and so the phrase doesn’t fit.
• The “he can do whatever he wants” sounds so South Park-ish to me. I guess maybe but I would keep any correspondence with this woman, to be honest, about her and not about my boy, since that’s actually where the problem lies.
• I find the word hickeys lewd. I much prefer a gentler term like “Love Bites” or “Marked”
• I would never discuss sex with someone that I didn’t feel comfortable about it with. Which I don’t really care but I mean I certainly wouldn’t talk shop with an ex. Not really my thing. If you guys really want to know the truth? He rocks my socks.
• I am not a jealous person, I actually support being friends with people that need it. Then again I may not support him being friends with her just because of her negative behavior but that’s mostly because I’ve had enough negativity in my life to know that it doesn’t get you anywhere, just sticks you in the mud and makes it difficult to move forward.
• I don’t believe that he doesn’t want her, well maybe he doesn’t, but honestly I know that people that have long relationships, regardless of how they act, care in a deeper manner even if they aren’t the right match for one another. I do believe that he would like to be friends with her because I think he does respect her despite her flaws.
• I, by no means, think I am a better  person then this woman. I just know I’m different, nothing more, nothing less.
• I absolutely do not believe that he doesn’t know she exists anymore. She texts him all the time and he doesn’t ignore her (did you know I had mind blowing 69 sex that I don’t even remember. Neither does he.Weird. It must have been so amazing we both got a bout of amnesia about it.)
• He did tell me about the jealousy and things but I would focus on that. really, it’s her life, she should live it how she wants it.
• I never said I knew he would be mine. Hell, had he said he had a girlfriend I wouldn’t have even have thought he was on the market, not even a small bit.
• I don’t tell people to get lost, I tell them to gtfo (get the fuck off).
• I would never say “MY man!” it sounds too Jerry Springer. Not just that there is no exclamation to emphasize it. I would simply say mine.
• I also don’t single space anything unless I’m writing disconnected thought sentences that relate to one another.
• Lastly, I probably would have summed the entire thing up in about two sentences. “Stop being a fucking cunt licking bitch and take care of your daughter instead of focusing your life problems on someone that, honestly, should be commended for putting forth the effort to help someone that honestly doesn’t appear to want to help themselves. Have a good life, I wish you and your daughter the best and I can’t wait until we can maybe be friends.<333 Morr”

I’m sure there is more but that’s all I feel the want to talk about. Needless to say my boy wants to talk on the phone and is fucking distracting me from writing any further so I will leave it here and bid you ado and enjoy the lols because Morr <33′s you! Feel free to post your comments if you want.

So I’m going to list a whole bunch of things that you may or may not know about me. I will be pretty truthful, maybe joke, maybe not. We’ll see. I’m going to list as many things as possible.

1. I’m 6’2″
2. I’m a Virgo
3. I have 2 kids (Fae and Troy)
4. I have 5 brothers, 6 if you include my adopted brother Josh and 5 again if you don’t count my deceased brother David.
5. I love colored socks.
6. I love shoes.
7. I have more then 5 purses.
8. I like hats but after I get them I rarely wear them and when I do wear them they irritate me.
9. I love ruffly underwear.
10. I love walking around in my underwear, even outside and have no problem wearing it to the store if I can’t find pants.
11. My favorite drink is Dr Pepper.
12. I like silence, but live with white noise because without it I think my brain would melt.
13. I prefer beer to hard liquor.
14. I don’t like fish unless it’s Tuna.
15. I have problems with certain textures in foods, mostly with onion, mushrooms and peppers.
16. I named my daughter Coaliatha because I didn’t want her to have a common name (like my own) and despise my ex-husband (and myself for allowing it) for naming our son Alexander.
17. I own more domains then I can handle sites.
18. I take on more then I can handle sometimes and it makes me meltdown.
19. I love to RP but sometimes I get too wrapped up in my worlds.
20. I tend to not finish projects that I take on because I lose inspiration or I melt down because of pressure either off the computer or on it.
21. I like staying up late and I hate getting up early.
22. I hate Monday’s, almost as much as Garfield.
23. I love to write.
24. I want to finish a novel.
25. I am decent at organizing things but terrible at keeping it organized 24-7.
26. I like to plan to clean but not cleaning itself.
27. I’m allergic to Latex.
28. I’ve had sex with two men to date.
29. I have a love for everyone but I’m emotionally hard to get intimate with.
30. I don’t orgasm every time during sex.
31. I like to watch porn and hentai not because it’s perverted but because it amuses me.
32. My favorite book is The Giver.
33. I have an infatuation with Serial Killers, especially Dexter (even if he is fictitious)
34. I like to “marry” fictional characters, both male and female.
35. I am in love with the female form and would happily attempt to have sex with a woman if I so felt the chemistry.
36. I want breast implants because I hate having my no-boob-boobs.
37. I sometimes hate being tall but would rather be taller then shorter.
38. When I was younger I was called “Buns of Steel” by my family (want to know why just ask).
39. I’ve been in five car accidents while driving but only one while it wasn’t me driving.
40. I love movies more then TV.
41. I don’t wear makeup and I don’t like to do my hair.
42. I don’t like to go out but I want to be taken out (against my will as it were).
43. The only thing I willingly shave on my body is my underarms because I don’t hold a double standard about it because I prefer that men shave it too because I get grossed out thinking about the sweat beads that roll off of armpit hair.
44. I hate talking on the phone but I will if I have to and am pretty good at getting mad at stupid phone reps.
45. I snort when I laugh sometimes but I don’t like it but some guys find it cute or funny.
46. My favorite color is pink, followed by red and yellow.
47. I like to wear high heels because I like being taller then almost everyone I know and hate feeling particularly short.
48. I love IPB!!! I’m an official IP.Fangirl ^Matt Mecham certified.
49. I like to watch corny Disney movies, not for my kids but for myself.
50. I have been in love with a man I can’t attain for a long while and am not sure he even likes me like that back and he lives half the world away from me.
51. My biggest fear is dying alone.
52. I wanted to be an arachnologist and an archaeologist when I grew up and ended up a computer nerd that isn’t very smart.
53. I say degrading things about myself because I want someone to tell me that it’s not true.
54. I want to find someone that loves the nuances about me, like the fact that I like to walk around the house in my underwear or the fact that I wear underwear and high heels while I clean or that I dance at any opportunity that I get with music or without it.
55. My favorite candy bar is a Reeses Fast Break.
56. When I swim I still like to pretend that I am a mermaid.
57. I have started reading 5 books but haven’t finished them (in the past 3 years).
58. I like to dance to movie credits.
59. I have a shirt that I call my “Dexter Dark Passenger” shirt that I like to put a male cologne smell on and sleep with when I feel lonely.
60. I used to have four piercings and now have one on my clit hood which I’m considering taking out.
61. I have a dragon tattoo and want many more tattoos.
62. I spend more then I should because I like to keep the things that I love going to keep my own sanity.
63. I get distracted easily but at the same time I can tend to get too focused on something.
64. I bite my nails.
65. I like to dance naked in front of the mirror, especially right before a shower.
66. My favorite word is shiny.
67. I don’t think I’m a particularly good writer but I think I have good stories to tell and that’s why I want to have a pubiished book.
68. You can tell in the way I write things whether I’m enjoying it or not, or whether I know the character I am writing from or not.
69. I hate reading but I love foreign horror and action movies.
70. I tend to have a preference for clean American cinematography but I prefer the story/acting and whatnot of foreign films.
71. I don’t know if I’m bi because I’ve never experimented but maybe someday I will.
72. I have a fond appreciation of the female form and will happy talk tits and ass with you about women, right down to the but-her-face’s.
73. I don’t always give notice when I leave my computer.
74. Despite regular protest I do like a regular slap on the ass.
75. I love to be told I’m pretty because, despite my confidence, I have a rather low self esteem.
76. While it sometimes takes me a bit to remember things I have a great memory. I still forget things but I think my forgetful scale is balanced at a 90% remembered 10% forgotten stuff.
77. I want to get a few books published. Some are Romantic Vampires/werewolf books and the other are futuristic Dystopian Sci-Fi’s.
78. I used to think I was only into Medieval Fantasy works to find out that I’m more drawn to Sci-Fi works especially Dystopias (thank you Muse).
79. I have a million pet peeves and I love to complain about every one of them until I’m blue in the face but I’m honestly harmless. I just want to get it off of my chest.
80. In love with Arkasel and making plans to hopefully meet him to see if it may be true and returned feelings.
81. I hate smokers.
82. I prefer salty snacks to sweet ones.
83. My favorite kind of cookie is a soft peanut butter cookie.
84. I have a lot of love and being in love with someone is different then loving someone.
85. I daydream about the time that I actually don’t want to be on the computer and instead am happily cuddling my lover on the couch tracing idly on each others skin. *sigh* Dreams.
86. I want someone to romance my pants off. I’m never going to get it and I know that.
87. One of my favorite ways to write is in second person and have considered trying a book written completely in second person.
88. I want to travel before I get too old for it. (India, Hungary, Japan, Ireland (so I can meet and whisk away my Irishman) England, Australia, Scotland, and many more.
89. I want to learn many other languages, mostly those that coincide with the places that I want to travel to.
90. My favorite Social Network is twitter or an IP.Board install even though I intend to make something of my own.
91. Secretly I wish to rule the world and my plans to do so work into every little thing that I do. (Morr for World dominator!)
92. My favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast because for it means for beast’s like me that their may be a beauty out there for me.
93. My favorite cartoon character is Bugs Bunny.
94. I’m a homebody and need people around me that don’t let me stay inside all day.
95. I say I don’t like things even if I do just to have something to complain about but normally change my opinion in the future when you don’t realize it. Or if you do realize it I change my tune saying that I “always” liked it and that you didn’t remember correctly.
96. My favorite fruit is apples.
97. My favorite vegetable is a potato.
98. My favorite type of food is Pasta, normally with white sauce.
99. I have been tempted to go vegetarian but then I eat something with meat and change my mind.
100. I only had 8 hours of active labor for both of my kids.
101. I have one tattoo of a dragon on my left shoulder.
102. I want a tattoo of a faerie on my left hip, a rocking horse on my right hip and some sort of tramp stamp for future tattoos. Maybe more.
103. I used to have four piercings; navel, nipples and clit hood. Now I just have the hood piercing having taken the others out for Thing 2 (or my son)
104. I call my kids Thing 1 and Thing 2 and they answer to it.
105. I know Dr Suess’ full name.
106. I think the coolest thing about RL Stine is that he can write children’s shows as well as awesome, scare your pants off horror.
107. I’m afraid of heights.
108. More then being afraid of heights I’m afraid of dying a spinstery old hag alone with my cats eating me.
109. I still believe in wishing on stars.
110. I believe in karma.
111. I believe this project took far too long to complete.
112. I wonder how many books it would take to sell to make me feel like a successful author.
113. I worry that all my kids are going to remember about me when they get older are the horrible things about me and try to change them but then just get so steaming mad I revert to programming.
114. I’m rather vain but I can be sated with a few cat calls or compliments as I’m self conscience.
115. I hope you all learnt at least one thing about Morr.
116. If you didn’t enjoy this then don’t blame me, I didn’t make you read it.
117. If you want to know more then feel free to comment and ask.

So I was talking to a friend and one of my fellow RPers Anon administrators and neither of us are very happy with the Social networking softwares that we have found to change RPers Anon over to the new software that we find fills the needs and dreams we want to make for it. We already switched to Dolphin which is alright but it certainly is just “too much” and not very intuitive. There are far too many dependent modules and it is far too expensive to get the features that we want. So we’ve been looking into other means of getting the results that we want.

We’ve tried Elgg, which looks like the most promising but the support in the community is lacking as well as the basic functionality that we want for the site.
She’s tried Drupal (the bane of my existence)
I’ve looked at other softwares and they are either expensive or ugly to even look at let alone consider skinning.

Now that leads to the reason why I’m even blogging at the moment, I WANT WHAT IS IN MY BRAIN TO JUST APPEAR. I Want the code to just appear from my head, perfectly formatted, and give me what I want. I’m nowhere near coding savvy enough to make something that is secure and nice. (I’ve tried and it was a very poor attempt back then, let alone looking back on it now). I really want something not too elaborate or needy. I mean the basic things that we want is:
Members
Messaging
Friends
Groups
Fan Pages
Statuses of some sort
Notifications
An update of what the person is doing around the site
Discussions (preferably just in Groups I don’t think I need a general forum anymore at all)
Site Directory (Which might be integrated into the Fan Pages)
Profile Comments
Liking things on profiles and in groups (to go into what the person is doing on the site)
A Default Portal page that has this information laid out in a nice fashion.

Now looking at the list I feel like it’s a lot of stuff (especially since I have a feeling it’s not the entire list) but there are things that irritate me and I want something that my members can really connect with for RP. I don’t want a basic forum. I want an honest to god, made for RPers, by RPers Social Network but I can’t afford to buy someone to code something for me.

Maybe if someone loves me enough they will be inclined to help me out. I’m not a complete coding dunce but I’m a poor mum. Maybe I can exchange awesome Morrness (posts and IMs and Tweets and general time spent) for some intense coding help or even some development help.

Wishful thinking I’m sure…

While I, as a RPers, know what it is like to be behind the grind of your posts being behind on NaNo is exhausting. At least on a RP you can tell someone that your reply may take a few days and then you have a grace period with NaNo if you get behind it’s like a scramble to get caught up. I didn’t NaNo for 5 days because I was exhausted after my daughter’s birthday and I’m still behind. I feel like I’m never going to get caught up writing 2K to 2.5K every night before bed and I’m still 2.5K words behind.

It’s tiring! Good gravy it’s tiring! I stay up until midnight every night and get up at 6:30 every morning. I’m ready for a break! The only problem with taking a break means that I have to do more catching up.

No rest for the weary I guess.

I’m hoping that here in the next day or so I will get caught up. Zayzie has been helping me push to get the words out but I haven’t surpassed quite yet. I know that the Writer’s chat room helps.

OH! WTF Batman!? I write similar to the way I RP but I have a particular tactic that I make sure my story is cohesive and if something doesn’t work right that is stopping my ability to continue forward then I fix it before I continue. WHY the HELL!? would everyone sit here and tell me to skip it and move on. If it’s not working right now how in the hell is skipping it to go to the next part going to make it any better? All I’m doing is continuing the dredge of the not making sense world and it won’t make any more sense  if I keep writing or not. In fact it will probably make less sense and then I’ll just have a mass jumble of words by the end of it. Don’t tell me to just “skip it”! That doesn’t work. Skipping the problem doesn’t make the problem go away. Trust me, I have an ex husband and if I could skip over the problem I would but I can’t. It has to make sense or else I dwell, I  brood, and I can’t write. I have to fix the problem!!! I don’t understand how anyone thinks that skipping the problem will make it go away or make it work somehow. Changing/fixing is the only way to go. Ask Tim Gunn.

RAWR!!!!!!!!

Note to everyone that wants to help me when I say a scene isn’t working:

• Cheer me on!
• Help me work it out!
• Give me a pat on the back!
• Snug me!
• HELP ME!

• DON’T, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS LIVING, TELL ME TO SKIP IT! That fucking aggravates me more then life itself!

Also, for the past few weeks my life (particularly my driving life) was filled with music fail. First, on the cable Dance channel there was all medium speed unfamiliar dance music and it wasn’t all that dancey, it was more of a trance and it wasn’t inspiring to do anything. Then in the car, every time I get in, either it was the same song or the commercials for most of my trip. I mean, commercials keep music free but seriously!? I don’t spend that much time in the car and listening to commercials is just major fail and it was bull!

Thank you for listening. Until next time everyone. Same Morr time, same Morr channel!