So I have been vacant lately and the past few I’ve been more so then normal. Well if you were curious my computer just crashed officially. Not a big thing I am pretty sure, right now, it is the monitor or the video card but it is an ancient laptop so that means I am lassoed to my tablet which is tedious to type on, or rely on other peoples computers which I prefer to not have to do. This means even more then having an overwhelming job I have only this tablet to do my hobbies on until I can afford a replacement computer. All projects are on hold until completion.
Sorry guys. But poke me on Twit, facespace or my messengers if you want to chat it up.
So I feel that my Morrgroove or Morrmojo or Mojo-Jojo is gone and never coming back. I feel uninspired dull and downright blechy most days. I’ll sit at my computer and things that make me inspired and happy to do online feel like chores. It’s not supposed to be this way. My hobbies should feel fun and exciting to come home to. I should want to get all of my other stuff out of the way so I can sit down and enjoy the happy things and life. But I don’t and it depresses me.
So the normal responses that I’m sure I’ll here is “Get a new hobby” or “If it depresses you then find out why” well I don’t know why. I love being at my computer. I love writing. I love coding websites. I love making images. I LOVE Rping and yet all of these things don’t inspire me at all. This could be the 12 hour days at work but really if that’s what is killing it for me then why did I enjoy them in the first place? Because it killed time? I used to itch to get home and turn on my laptop and see all the amazing things I missed that day and regret missing it. Now it’s just one more thing I need to do.
I need my Morrmuse back. It’s gone and I can’t find it. If you see her please send her straight back with my brain. It would be muchly appreciated.
So I’m sitting here, staring at my computer screen, flirting with a guy via text and not able to really concentrate. Now, at first you’d think that I am not able to concentrate because of the flirting but texting is s sort of basic function in today’s society, I can do it with my eyes closed almost so it’s highly doubtful that it’s the source of my distraction.So I continue to try to figure it out why I’m so scatter brained when I’m trying to write.
Well I discovered my problem… the Internet. I started reading the most recent chapter of my Dexter fanfiction and I got a few paragraphs into it before I clicked onto Google+, then onto Knights of Cydonia (My RP) then onto Morr Dystopia (My Dystopia site). Afterward I did a few mundane things and then returned, forgetting of my prior plan to write.
Now, I’m back to remembering but I’m tired which does not make a good brain for writing but the need/want to write. So now I will have to wait until tomorrow to write my next Dexter chapter.
I think I will blame the temporary blonde hair for the ditzy behavior (although it’s not uncommon)
So I’m going to list a whole bunch of things that you may or may not know about me. I will be pretty truthful, maybe joke, maybe not. We’ll see. I’m going to list as many things as possible.
- I’m 6’2″
- I’m a Virgo
- I have 2 kids (Fae and Troy)
- I have 5 brothers, 6 if you include my adopted brother Josh and 5 again if you don’t count my deceased brother David.
- I love colored socks.
- I love shoes.
- I have more then 5 purses.
- I like hats but after I get them I rarely wear them and when I do wear them they irritate me.
- I love ruffly underwear.
- I love walking around in my underwear, even outside and have no problem wearing it to the store if I can’t find pants.
- My favorite drink is Dr Pepper.
- I like silence, but live with white noise because without it I think my brain would melt.
- I prefer beer to hard liquor.
- I don’t like fish unless it’s Tuna.
- I have problems with certain textures in foods, mostly with onion, mushrooms and peppers.
- I named my daughter Coaliatha because I didn’t want her to have a common name (like my own) and despise my ex-husband (and myself for allowing it) for naming our son Alexander.
- I own more domains then I can handle sites.
- I take on more then I can handle sometimes and it makes me meltdown.
- I love to RP but sometimes I get too wrapped up in my worlds.
- I tend to not finish projects that I take on because I lose inspiration or I melt down because of pressure either off the computer or on it.
- I like staying up late and I hate getting up early.
- I hate Monday’s, almost as much as Garfield.
- I love to write.
- I want to finish a novel.
- I am decent at organizing things but terrible at keeping it organized 24-7.
- I like to plan to clean but not cleaning itself.
- I’m allergic to Latex.
- I’ve had sex with two men to date.
- I have a love for everyone but I’m emotionally hard to get intimate with.
- I don’t orgasm every time during sex.
- I like to watch porn and hentai not because it’s perverted but because it amuses me.
- My favorite book is The Giver.
- I have an infatuation with Serial Killers, especially Dexter (even if he is fictitious)
- I like to “marry” fictional characters, both male and female.
- I am in love with the female form and would happily attempt to have sex with a woman if I so felt the chemistry.
- I want breast implants because I hate having my no-boob-boobs.
- I sometimes hate being tall but would rather be taller then shorter.
- When I was younger I was called “Buns of Steel” by my family (want to know why just ask).
- I’ve been in five car accidents while driving but only one while it wasn’t me driving.
- I love movies more then TV.
- I don’t wear makeup and I don’t like to do my hair.
- I don’t like to go out but I want to be taken out (against my will as it were).
- The only thing I willingly shave on my body is my underarms because I don’t hold a double standard about it because I prefer that men shave it too because I get grossed out thinking about the sweat beads that roll off of armpit hair.
- I hate talking on the phone but I will if I have to and am pretty good at getting mad at stupid phone reps.
- I snort when I laugh sometimes but I don’t like it but some guys find it cute or funny.
- My favorite color is pink, followed by red and yellow.
- I like to wear high heels because I like being taller then almost everyone I know and hate feeling particularly short.
- I love IPB!!! I’m an official IP.Fangirl ^Matt Mecham certified.
- I like to watch corny Disney movies, not for my kids but for myself.
- I have been in love with a man I can’t attain for a long while and am not sure he even likes me like that back and he lives half the world away from me.
- My biggest fear is dying alone.
- I wanted to be an arachnologist and an archaeologist when I grew up and ended up a computer nerd that isn’t very smart.
- I say degrading things about myself because I want someone to tell me that it’s not true.
- I want to find someone that loves the nuances about me, like the fact that I like to walk around the house in my underwear or the fact that I wear underwear and high heels while I clean or that I dance at any opportunity that I get with music or without it.
- My favorite candy bar is a Reeses Fast Break.
- When I swim I still like to pretend that I am a mermaid.
- I have started reading 5 books but haven’t finished them (in the past 3 years).
- I like to dance to movie credits.
- I have a shirt that I call my “Dexter Dark Passenger” shirt that I like to put a male cologne smell on and sleep with when I feel lonely.
- I used to have four piercings and now have one on my clit hood which I’m considering taking out.
- I have a dragon tattoo and want many more tattoos.
- I spend more then I should because I like to keep the things that I love going to keep my own sanity.
- I get distracted easily but at the same time I can tend to get too focused on something.
- I bite my nails.
- I like to dance naked in front of the mirror, especially right before a shower.
- My favorite word is shiny.
- I don’t think I’m a particularly good writer but I think I have good stories to tell and that’s why I want to have a pubiished book.
- You can tell in the way I write things whether I’m enjoying it or not, or whether I know the character I am writing from or not.
- I hate reading but I love foreign horror and action movies.
- I tend to have a preference for clean American cinematography but I prefer the story/acting and whatnot of foreign films.
- I don’t know if I’m bi because I’ve never experimented but maybe someday I will.
- I have a fond appreciation of the female form and will happy talk tits and ass with you about women, right down to the but-her-face’s.
- I don’t always give notice when I leave my computer.
- Despite regular protest I do like a regular slap on the ass.
- I love to be told I’m pretty because, despite my confidence, I have a rather low self esteem.
- While it sometimes takes me a bit to remember things I have a great memory. I still forget things but I think my forgetful scale is balanced at a 90% remembered 10% forgotten stuff.
- I want to get a few books published. Some are Romantic Vampires/werewolf books and the other are futuristic Dystopian Sci-Fi’s.
- I used to think I was only into Medieval Fantasy works to find out that I’m more drawn to Sci-Fi works especially Dystopias (thank you Muse).
- I have a million pet peeves and I love to complain about every one of them until I’m blue in the face but I’m honestly harmless. I just want to get it off of my chest.
- In love with Arkasel and making plans to hopefully meet him to see if it may be true and returned feelings.
- I hate smokers.
- I prefer salty snacks to sweet ones.
- My favorite kind of cookie is a soft peanut butter cookie.
- I have a lot of love and being in love with someone is different then loving someone.
- I daydream about the time that I actually don’t want to be on the computer and instead am happily cuddling my lover on the couch tracing idly on each others skin. *sigh* Dreams.
- I want someone to romance my pants off. I’m never going to get it and I know that.
- One of my favorite ways to write is in second person and have considered trying a book written completely in second person.
- I want to travel before I get too old for it. (India, Hungary, Japan, Ireland (so I can meet and whisk away my Irishman) England, Australia, Scotland, and many more.
- I want to learn many other languages, mostly those that coincide with the places that I want to travel to.
- My favorite Social Network is twitter or an IP.Board install even though I intend to make something of my own.
- Secretly I wish to rule the world and my plans to do so work into every little thing that I do. (Morr for World dominator!)
- My favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast because for it means for beast’s like me that their may be a beauty out there for me.
- My favorite cartoon character is Bugs Bunny.
- I’m a homebody and need people around me that don’t let me stay inside all day.
- I say I don’t like things even if I do just to have something to complain about but normally change my opinion in the future when you don’t realize it. Or if you do realize it I change my tune saying that I “always” liked it and that you didn’t remember correctly.
- My favorite fruit is apples.
- My favorite vegetable is a potato.
- My favorite type of food is Pasta, normally with white sauce.
- I have been tempted to go vegetarian but then I eat something with meat and change my mind.
- I only had 8 hours of active labor for both of my kids.
- I have one tattoo of a dragon on my left shoulder.
- I want a tattoo of a faerie on my left hip, a rocking horse on my right hip and some sort of tramp stamp for future tattoos. Maybe more.
- I used to have four piercings; navel, nipples and clit hood. Now I just have the hood piercing having taken the others out for Thing 2 (or my son)
- I call my kids Thing 1 and Thing 2 and they answer to it.
- I know Dr Suess’ full name.
- I think the coolest thing about RL Stine is that he can write children’s shows as well as awesome, scare your pants off horror.
- I’m afraid of heights.
- More then being afraid of heights I’m afraid of dying a spinstery old hag alone with my cats eating me.
- I still believe in wishing on stars.
- I believe in karma.
- I believe this project took far too long to complete.
- I wonder how many books it would take to sell to make me feel like a successful author.
- I worry that all my kids are going to remember about me when they get older are the horrible things about me and try to change them but then just get so steaming mad I revert to programming.
- I’m rather vain but I can be sated with a few cat calls or compliments as I’m self conscience.
- I hope you all learnt at least one thing about Morr.
- If you didn’t enjoy this then don’t blame me, I didn’t make you read it.
- If you want to know more then feel free to comment and ask.
Okay. So this isn’t going to be a super long post. I don’t have much to say really.
Today I spent most of my computer time looking for a bit of code that had NOTHING to do with the problem that I was having with changing my profiles. Eventually it turned out that I just needed to add a bit of code to force the use of CSS and it worked like magic. Throughout my entire day I felt very unaccomplished because I couldn’t find this. Luckily I found myself very focused and was able to complete all but the major cosmetic changes to the layout. At the moment I need to setup a new banner and a few other things to make it look like the back of the box.
Other then that? Check out my profile and tell me what you think:
I’m extremely tired and it is very late so I’m off to bed. Goodnight everyone! Hope you’re having a good day.
Just wanted to let you all know… it is official! I am divorced. It was about an hour of deliberation in ERC (Early Resolution Council I think) and my ex is insane and obviously doesn’t know how much it costs to take care of two kids. Like seriously….. whatever though… Totally over it. He thinks he’s poor and picked on. I’m taking care of two kids, living at home without a job…. still…. after a year of freakin’ looking I still don’t have a job. I hate the job market. T_T It really sucks being out of the job industry for almost 4 years now, especially when my major was in a computer industry. 4 years lost in Computers is like 20 years lost in work… it seems impossible to catch up sometimes.
Well….. yay being divorced and now onto bigger and better things.
I’m considering writing a web comic. Maybe. I’m not too funny so it would be interesting…. That being said… I’m also not a very good artist so it would be interesting. ALTHOUGH! I did put the spork for Wootflakes onto the computer after my brother sort of designed him with my inspiration…. He’s not all that great though. It’s an idea though.
Have a good day everyone. ^_^