Frustrations of a Working Mother

So I love my kids and because I love my kids I work. While this is good it makes me feel slightly bad because the things that they are not succeeding in makes me feel like I’m failing. Like my daughter. I know she can read, I have watched her do it, but because I’m not there a lot of the time I feel like I’m not succeeding in helping her further her skills. I feel that my lack of reading to her while she was younger has stunted her ability to read.

I feel like an all around bad mother.

I know I’m not, don’t get me wrong. I’m there for my kids when they need me. I’m the fluffy stern woman that keeps them safe from monsters and darkness. It doesn’t make it hurt less that my daughter is struggling to read.

Now with that said she’s going to summer school…. Yes a kindergartener in Summer School but I’m doing this to keep her from being a 7 year old Kindergartener. It’s scary to think that she’s not in second grade already but I have to stay strong for that.

Adding to that I miss being at home with my kids. I remember when I was able to be home all the time and it hurts not to have that connection with them anymore. :( I live with it though, not happily.

On the brighter side to that my boyfriend, affectionately called Cricket, has been an extreme help and rock for me and my wishy washy-ness. He helps with keeping me on the line of being stern but leaving me to my fluff. I definitely need him and love him to death. He keeps me grounded and sane. It’s very nice having someone like him in my life. He also watches my kids for me when he can while I’m at work. This by itself helps me because it means I see my kids more. It’s wonderful.

I guess there is more but I’ve lost my train of thought. Hopefully I’ll get to update this more soon.

The Red Queen

Okay. I am not going to apologize again. I haven’t been posting. It’s been hectic. I’m trying to get back into everything. To add insult to injury I didn’t even post the last two weeks of webcomics. I will be getting that done soon.


LAST NIGHT! I was in a fashion show as the queen of spades. Are you ready to see me all scary and stuff? READY! REALLY! ARE YOU READY! *is a little hyper*
BE AFRAID! In some of those photos I think I look a bit like Hatchet Face from Cry Baby. Other then that I think I looked awesome.

The Fashion show was fun. I mentioned the fact that I was 25 and I was told AGAIN that I didn’t look 25. Confused and not sure what to think, as this was about the 5th time I’ve heard it in the past 2 weeks, I mentioned the fact that I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. I was told I looked 18 or 19. I felt pretty good. That’s 7 years shaved off of my age so I am feeling pretty nifty at the moment.

My daughter and son walked the runway as well. Troy walked with me and he did really good and my daughter walked with her best friend Avery and they got a adorable laugh and they enjoyed every second of the not waiting portions of the night. They absolutely loved the dresses my mum made, I loved the dresses my mum made and I WILL be getting more pictures soon. The ones I posted above are from after the show that I took when I got home, unfortunately everyone else got undressed pretty quickly.

After the show I came home, tweeted like a mad woman and passed out!

During the show some guys thought I looked awesome in my costume! My mum did a great job! Also a few looked like Glambert (aka Adam Lambert) Sadly I had more glitter in my hair then they had on them which made me a little more Glambert then them but they were still good looking. One of them looked like the actor that played John Connor in the original T2 movie. Older of course, like he had grown up, but he was really hot. Guyliner FTW!

I’m moving soon. It wasn’t planned but it is necessary so things are still stressful here. No promises on constant updates but I will be updating when I can. I will especially update when I’m less stressed because I enjoy giving everyone a play by play on my day. It keeps my brain a little more lucid which is good for an addled brain like mine.

I’m back to RPing. I’m on two sites, one of which I own and operate. I am enjoying it but I am going to try and continue to write outside of RP but again, that whole stress deal. I’ve been more stressed then normal because I contracted myself to do some work and I felt a little more pressured then I would have liked. It made my brain shut down from IPB coding. I know I’m not willing to sacrifice my mind for something that will hurt me and my kids in the long run and so I’m done with that. I might still do freelance but it will have to be on my own terms. No more coding on someone else’s terms or time. It is my time and my brain, people will have to live with it that way.

I think that is it for now. I will post more hopefully tomorrow! Goodnight everyone!

The Zoo and other wild adventures

So yesterday I didn’t post. No excuse really, I fell asleep after a nice bath to soak my bones and muscles. It was a long day and I didn’t have the energy to do much after I put my kids to sleep.

So, onto the days activities (or yesterdays).

So I woke up and called my daughter’s teacher explaining that I couldn’t get her the vaccination and she said she’d call me back. She called me back and said that she’d work it out when I got to the class. We went to the class and there seemed to be no problems. Fantastic. Afterward it was a drive to the Zoo, waiting and then we got to go inside the zoo!

Well a zoo, like any other zoo, has a lot of animals and involves a lot of walking. With a two year old and a four year old (the forgotten stroller at home) it was a long day of looking and making sure they didn’t run away too far from me. Now this was probably one of the many times I’ve considered getting those child leashes. It was a lot of chasing and, sadly, yelling to make sure that my daughter didn’t run too far off with her friend Nate. Now I’m 25, I’m not old, I just don’t move very fast because I like to relax as I go. On top of that I was also carrying my son the entire time because he didn’t want to walk very often. Up, down, stop go. It was a long day and probably would have been better had I remembered the stroller for my son. >_<

We saw lots of animals. Giraffes I think was my daughter’s favorite along with the bear and the elephants and the monkeys and the horses.

I think my favorite part was either dancing on the endangered animal carousel between my kids OR! Petting the stingrays. They feel slimey but it’s awesome and my daughter got to touch one. Unfortunately she dropped the shrimp so she didn’t get to feed them. Yeah I’m weird but dancing on a carousel is hard because the centripetal force throws off your balance a little.

Also I think I took on Best Dressed Mom yesterday. I wore my black and white sundress with black goth boots and messy bun hair (which got messier from the son on the shoulders).

So it was a good day, long day and my kids had a ton of fun and I got to dance. All around win. It was even more win that my kids fell asleep almost the moment I started the car. It was cute and I’ll post the blurry pictures on twitpic here in a bit.

Not so productive day

Well today was productive in the fact that my daughter’s teacher came and my daughter learned. I find my daughter might not be able to go to the zoo on Friday because she doesn’t have a vaccine. Bullshit IMO. They are full of fail. She obviously missed a vaccination in the traveling even though I’ve thought she’s always been up to date. Obviously my brain is broken because I like listened or something? But she didn’t get her stupid Chicken Pox one and that will prevent her from going to the zoo on Friday. *fail*

Worked a little on tomorrow’s comic. I will work on it more vigorously tomorrow morning and hopefully have it posted by the afternoon. You will see it tomorrow. I have the elements all made and so it just requires the put together part.

I wrote a bit of a fic before I wrote this. You’ll see a password protected entry, that’s because it’s not done but I published that so a friend could read it for me. When I complete that part I will post and either make that post public or give you the password. Either way, for now it is private.

Short post tonight. I’m tired.

PS. 3.1 Beta went live on the IPB boards today!!

PSS. Join Wootflakes or baby elephants will die!!

Eyeballs hurt

So this won’t be very long. My eyes hurt. I’m tired from a long day (going on 18 hours I think… maybe more). Wow, I’m sitting here telling you about how tired I am and you should just see the spelling mistakes. If it weren’t for a spell checker I’d be even more worse for wear and you’re eyes would bleed just from the spelling errors.

So things I did today? I went to Fae’s Socialization. It was fun and filled with love…. Lots and Lots of Love. It was a regular socialization. A little crazy and a little fun. I made sure and got one of my daughter’s friend’s mom’s phone number try and say that ten times fast) to have a play date next week I hope. I get along very well with the women in Fae’s class which makes me happy. They don’t seem at all bothered by my naturally eccentric behavior which is good.

You know I told myself not to forget things to put in this but you know what? My brain isn’t functioning properly so I forgot. I’m going to go to bed I’ll try and make a post in the morning.

Goodnight. Hope you’re having a nice day!

Webcomic 2 Complete

Well! I was successful! I was able to complete my second comic, on TIME! I know amazing right? Just wait until next week…. when it doesn’t come…. Well it doesn’t matter, next week isn’t here yet and so I present you with my on time comic of Moving Angst:
Visit it, join my site, all that lemming stuff that people do. Just remember, when I start going to comic cons… I will not remember you. Wait? Is that backwards? Is it that you won’t remember me? It sort of makes me wish that maybe Adult swim will pick up on it, endorse it and then make it into a cartoon. I’d be happy if it were a cartoon, I think.

Well… That being said lets continue on with my successes for the day. I don’t think there were many.

I got my comic done. I started on my “homework” which was actually coloring for my daughter that I have to power through and may actually stay up later then I should tonight to make sure to get done for tomorrow’s socialization. OH! And aren’t I the great mom? I made a play date at the park for my daughter completely forgetting I wouldn’t even be home to fulfill it. Morrfail! Thankfully I have a brother willing to go down and fix the error because I’d love the chance to have a friend for my daughter to play with the girl. She was wearing a cinderella dress for Christ’s sake. These kids were made to be BFFs forever! I serious

Besides my comic and coloring I started on Wootflakes smilies. They are of Eb1l R0ot and totally cute. I didn’t get many done but I did get a few of the key ones completed. I think my favorite so far is the Blink smiley.

Really this is going to be like my shortest post for a while. I haven’t much to talk about, I’m tired and I should probably be in bed because I have to be awake soon…. I do want to say that I’m considering making something of a “artistic” contest for a Morrigan made layout on IPB. I’m unsure. I’m not fantastic but I wouldn’t mind the Wootflakes exposure. I guess if you’re interested them PM me and I will probably start it. It would probably be something of a… well I don’t know. Only 3 or 4 people have said they liked my layout and I sort of always have odd layouts that don’t always have every piece finished so I’m not even sure if anyone would care about the stakes but I might do it… might being the operative word depending on interest.

Okay. I think that’s it for the night. My brain is slowly melting and if I don’t want to be less there in the morning I should go to bed now so it doesn’t leak from my ears.

Goodnight all! Hope you’re having a good day!