Nervous Breakdown

Alright, so I think I took on too much and I’m starting to feel the effects of it. I’m unfocused, I have a constant ringing headache. I want to finish things but when I start looking at it I start to feel a little panicky, which honestly, isn’t anything like me.

I have a few projects that have deadlines and this normally doesn’t bother me but I’ve just been having such a hard time concentrating on it. I feel terrible, I know I’m letting people down, which just adds to my stress. I CAN DO IT. I know I can it’s just the lack of focus just makes doing anything really difficult.

What doesn’t help? The fact that I keep having things add to the stress, like I got rear ended last week, I scraped my leg at the pool I mean it feels like a never ending pile that I can never get out from under.

I have a day job, I have this other job I just don’t know if I can do it without really going for it and not having the standard day job. The stress of having both, I think is the root of my issues with doing this. I want to focus but after a long day/week at work I don’t feel up to working more. It’s not that I want to disappoint anyone I just really really want to unwind and I feel that I’m just constantly letting everyone I know down in this situation. I am going to finish the current projects that I have and then take some time away from it for a bit and just see what I can do for priorities on this. I need to have me time and time for this so I think what really needs to happen is that I set hours for this other job. Whether it’s Tues-Thursday from 5PM-9PM I think it’s a boundary I need to set for myself.

Help? Comments? Support? I feel like I’m drowning even though I’m not.

Only One Morrigan

So, I have a new boy that I am dating and he has a somewhat obsessive ex that thought that he was cheating on her with me because we chatted on IM. Long story short it wasn’t true. He broke up with her and now she’s causing a big massive amount of llama drama which is sadly not llama-ey, just drama-ey.

Now to continue this fantastic story the other day she sent the boy in question a message that appeared to be a copy and paste of a FB conversation that she had started with me. Mind you, I have only sent her one correspondence and that was because she demanded one from me , to the boy. So I sent her a message back, that was pre-approved by both my Internet wife and my boy before I sent it. SO, this message was as follows:

Just so you know, we did sleep together. He’s not yours to control and he can do whatever he wants.
Also the hickeys were from me, but had I known he wouldn’t last that long I may have thought twice.
So you know what why don’t you stay away from him. He doesn’t want you anymore.
He’s found a better woman to be with, he doesn’t even know you exist anymore so just give up!
He told me how bad you were, how crazy you are. Well guess what, now he’s mine just like I knew he’d be.
So get lost and stay away from MY man.

Now reading that, if you don’t know me, is pretty good attempt at trying to pretend to be me. Unlike this person, there is capitalization and punctuation and even seems somewhat coherent, it’s not even close to something I would write. Lets break it down on how Un-Morrigan like it really is.

  • First things first, I ALWAYS name the puppy. I don’t care if you know exactly what or who I’m talking about, if I’m being administrative in any way I name the puppy so Geo( my boy’s name) would have been mentioned first sentence.
  • While I can be talkative I’m not long winded. If anything, as you can tell, I am rather blunt.
  • I tend to not use the phrase Just so you know, especially when I’m talking to someone that I’m not on good terms with. It’s just not a common phrase unless I’m on the phone informing someone of something extra. This information that I supposedly wrote was not just a “so you know” thing. This correspondence that I wrote is more or less a “bitch please” and so the phrase doesn’t fit.
  • The “he can do whatever he wants” sounds so South Park-ish to me. I guess maybe but I would keep any correspondence with this woman, to be honest, about her and not about my boy, since that’s actually where the problem lies.
  • I find the word hickeys lewd. I much prefer a gentler term like “Love Bites” or “Marked”
  • I would never discuss sex with someone that I didn’t feel comfortable about it with. Which I don’t really care but I mean I certainly wouldn’t talk shop with an ex. Not really my thing. If you guys really want to know the truth? He rocks my socks.
  • I am not a jealous person, I actually support being friends with people that need it. Then again I may not support him being friends with her just because of her negative behavior but that’s mostly because I’ve had enough negativity in my life to know that it doesn’t get you anywhere, just sticks you in the mud and makes it difficult to move forward.
  • I don’t believe that he doesn’t want her, well maybe he doesn’t, but honestly I know that people that have long relationships, regardless of how they act, care in a deeper manner even if they aren’t the right match for one another. I do believe that he would like to be friends with her because I think he does respect her despite her flaws.
  • I, by no means, think I am a betterĀ  person then this woman. I just know I’m different, nothing more, nothing less.
  • I absolutely do not believe that he doesn’t know she exists anymore. She texts him all the time and he doesn’t ignore her (did you know I had mind blowing 69 sex that I don’t even remember. Neither does he.Weird. It must have been so amazing we both got a bout of amnesia about it.)
  • He did tell me about the jealousy and things but I would focus on that. really, it’s her life, she should live it how she wants it.
  • I never said I knew he would be mine. Hell, had he said he had a girlfriend I wouldn’t have even have thought he was on the market, not even a small bit.
  • I don’t tell people to get lost, I tell them to gtfo (get the fuck off).
  • I would never say “MY man!” it sounds too Jerry Springer. Not just that there is no exclamation to emphasize it. I would simply say mine.
  • I also don’t single space anything unless I’m writing disconnected thought sentences that relate to one another.
  • Lastly, I probably would have summed the entire thing up in about two sentences. “Stop being a fucking cunt licking bitch and take care of your daughter instead of focusing your life problems on someone that, honestly, should be commended for putting forth the effort to help someone that honestly doesn’t appear to want to help themselves. Have a good life, I wish you and your daughter the best and I can’t wait until we can maybe be friends.<333 Morr”

I’m sure there is more but that’s all I feel the want to talk about. Needless to say my boy wants to talk on the phone and is fucking distracting me from writing any further so I will leave it here and bid you ado and enjoy the lols because Morr <33’s you! Feel free to post your comments if you want.

Webcomic 2 Complete

Well! I was successful! I was able to complete my second comic, on TIME! I know amazing right? Just wait until next week…. when it doesn’t come…. Well it doesn’t matter, next week isn’t here yet and so I present you with my on time comic of Moving Angst:
http://wootflakes.com
Visit it, join my site, all that lemming stuff that people do. Just remember, when I start going to comic cons… I will not remember you. Wait? Is that backwards? Is it that you won’t remember me? It sort of makes me wish that maybe Adult swim will pick up on it, endorse it and then make it into a cartoon. I’d be happy if it were a cartoon, I think.

Well… That being said lets continue on with my successes for the day. I don’t think there were many.

I got my comic done. I started on my “homework” which was actually coloring for my daughter that I have to power through and may actually stay up later then I should tonight to make sure to get done for tomorrow’s socialization. OH! And aren’t I the great mom? I made a play date at the park for my daughter completely forgetting I wouldn’t even be home to fulfill it. Morrfail! Thankfully I have a brother willing to go down and fix the error because I’d love the chance to have a friend for my daughter to play with the girl. She was wearing a cinderella dress for Christ’s sake. These kids were made to be BFFs forever! I serious

Besides my comic and coloring I started on Wootflakes smilies. They are of Eb1l R0ot and totally cute. I didn’t get many done but I did get a few of the key ones completed. I think my favorite so far is the Blink smiley.

Really this is going to be like my shortest post for a while. I haven’t much to talk about, I’m tired and I should probably be in bed because I have to be awake soon…. I do want to say that I’m considering making something of a “artistic” contest for a Morrigan made layout on IPB. I’m unsure. I’m not fantastic but I wouldn’t mind the Wootflakes exposure. I guess if you’re interested them PM me and I will probably start it. It would probably be something of a… well I don’t know. Only 3 or 4 people have said they liked my layout and I sort of always have odd layouts that don’t always have every piece finished so I’m not even sure if anyone would care about the stakes but I might do it… might being the operative word depending on interest.

Okay. I think that’s it for the night. My brain is slowly melting and if I don’t want to be less there in the morning I should go to bed now so it doesn’t leak from my ears.

Goodnight all! Hope you’re having a good day!

Divorced

Just wanted to let you all know… it is official! I am divorced. It was about an hour of deliberation in ERC (Early Resolution Council I think) and my ex is insane and obviously doesn’t know how much it costs to take care of two kids. Like seriously….. whatever though… Totally over it. He thinks he’s poor and picked on. I’m taking care of two kids, living at home without a job…. still…. after a year of freakin’ looking I still don’t have a job. I hate the job market. T_T It really sucks being out of the job industry for almost 4 years now, especially when my major was in a computer industry. 4 years lost in Computers is like 20 years lost in work… it seems impossible to catch up sometimes.

Well….. yay being divorced and now onto bigger and better things.

I’m considering writing a web comic. Maybe. I’m not too funny so it would be interesting…. That being said… I’m also not a very good artist so it would be interesting. ALTHOUGH! I did put the spork for Wootflakes onto the computer after my brother sort of designed him with my inspiration…. He’s not all that great though. It’s an idea though.

Have a good day everyone. ^_^

Fried

Just a smidgen fried. I just went to a parenting class, something required to get a divorce, and it was very informative but doesn’t help with the creative synapses. I got a lot of good input on how to help keep my kids from being alienated by me. I hope my soon to be ex-husband got the same information out of the class. You never know though. He may have went, sat through it to get the certificate and forgot everything. It’s entirely possible.

On a lighter note. I have a headache, 5 muses that aren’t working because they aren’t really mused at the moment and two kids that are refusing to go to sleep, one of which woke up after I returned home. I’m trying not to be frustrated but for gods sake she was asleep. I came inside, sat down and she’s awake and ready to play. I already know that I’m a mom and I don’t actually get a real break but for the love of George why can’t my kids sleep sometimes. >_< Just because they can be awake, doesn’t mean they have to be. It’s okay to sleep chicklins! I swear!!! I will be here when you wake up. If I’m not in the room…. I’m downstairs!

Well that’s it, I will do more website stuff after Fae’s class tomorrow.