So I love my kids and because I love my kids I work. While this is good it makes me feel slightly bad because the things that they are not succeeding in makes me feel like I’m failing. Like my daughter. I know she can read, I have watched her do it, but because I’m not there a lot of the time I feel like I’m not succeeding in helping her further her skills. I feel that my lack of reading to her while she was younger has stunted her ability to read.
I feel like an all around bad mother.
I know I’m not, don’t get me wrong. I’m there for my kids when they need me. I’m the fluffy stern woman that keeps them safe from monsters and darkness. It doesn’t make it hurt less that my daughter is struggling to read.
Now with that said she’s going to summer school…. Yes a kindergartener in Summer School but I’m doing this to keep her from being a 7 year old Kindergartener. It’s scary to think that she’s not in second grade already but I have to stay strong for that.
Adding to that I miss being at home with my kids. I remember when I was able to be home all the time and it hurts not to have that connection with them anymore. 🙁 I live with it though, not happily.
On the brighter side to that my boyfriend, affectionately called Cricket, has been an extreme help and rock for me and my wishy washy-ness. He helps with keeping me on the line of being stern but leaving me to my fluff. I definitely need him and love him to death. He keeps me grounded and sane. It’s very nice having someone like him in my life. He also watches my kids for me when he can while I’m at work. This by itself helps me because it means I see my kids more. It’s wonderful.
I guess there is more but I’ve lost my train of thought. Hopefully I’ll get to update this more soon.
So I am one to admit I’m not super exorbananly happy with my job but C’est La Vie. I need a way to take care of myself and my kids and so a job is required. As such I’ve been working hard to get a pay raise and a bonus promised for good stats and attendance. I’ve been anxiously awaiting for this ever possible pay raise for 5 months.
I got it!
I got the Pay raise. I got the bonus… Now what does that mean? I know you’re thinking “Uhhh… congratulations?” well yes! This means I can get a new computer to get back into my sites and groove and I’ll have it all back to normal again… Well sort of. I’m not intending to get another laptop, I’ll be getting a desktop finally. I don’t think I’ve owned a desktop since I’ve personally owned computers. I know my parents did. So I’m so estatic right now that I’ve been bounding out of my skin all week. Now all I have to do is make the decision on the computer I’m going to make or build.
Just thought you all may like to know!
So I started this up tonight and hopefully I won’t lose momentum and stop doing it. I have a lot of websites to get done and I’ve been neglecting them for months. I really just need to get my pansy ass in gear and finish them. I need to create a banner and layout for My brothers site, My daughters site, My Mom’s site and 3 of my own sites. I have so much stuff to do and yet I don’t do it though I’m sure I could get it done in less then a week if I put my mind to it.
On that note I’m also going to try and bunker down, get my books read and find a job. I’ve been looking, like a mad-woman, but still nothing. T_T It’s so depressing that I can’t find anything with my decent amount of computer skills. I mean the least I could do is maybe get a job tutoring people on how to use their computers since I’m pretty crafty like that. So if you need a computer tutor please contact me. >_> I have to make a living somehow.
I’d appreciate if you are looking at the site to tell me what you think of the layout. I got the idea from a free WordPress layout but I did all of the images and stuff by myself. There are a few graphics and brushes that I don’t have the original authors site to anymore so please let me know if you know where to find the links to the sites for anything missing a credit.
Soon to come still will be a completely finished layout. More pages. More Links. Links to my other sites with images…. Fantastic more stuff. I don’t want to list it because I think having a goal sometimes feels foreboding so I never finish things.
Once I get Morrigan’s Madness complete I will work on my other sites so stay tuned!!