Not much originality

So my boyfriend today said I need to focus my site creating juices toward one site and get the traffic up enormously and then from there market and see what we can do about possibly revenuing it and making it to where I don’t have to have a conventional job anymore. Thinking about it, I agree but where to start? I don’t have enough motivation most of the time to keep to one project (my current ten projects proving such a thing) and figuring out a way to drive traffic to my site is elusive to me.

Of course I’m sure the first site that you think I should get going is probably Morrigan’s Madness and that seems almost a good idea. It’s the site I’ve had active and going for the longest and it’s also my blog but I don’t know of much that I could legitimately talk about that would drive more people to my site. I don’t have much originality to be honest. I talk about my strife in life and who wants to hear that? Not even I like to hear myself whine and yet I do it on here like I’m some entitled blogger or something. <_< Not really but you get what I mean.

Then there is my new site splash page Morrgasm which should be some sort of Morrigan content site with links to all of my projects, what I’m working on, what I’m doing. It’ll likely have a feed from here to keep the information flowing. It seems like a good idea but what would I publish to this site to make it worth visiting other then links to my other sites. Transferring content I don’t think is a good thing to focus on but I think that if I make it my MAIN site then it would be worth it. It would be like the ultimate splash page.

Next possibility is to really focus one of my two comic ideas. Those have the most monetary potential if you consider it. There is Morrapocalypse or Wootflakes.
Now Morrapocalypse is the Apocalyptic/Dystopic Comic that is there to both teach you something about surviving a dystopia and apocalypse as well as exposing some cliches. The skin is not done and I have no presence whatsoever but it does have a domain sister of Morrdystopia that has a forum on it.
Wootflakes on the other hand is a geeky little spork that has mostly nerd humor. The skin is done but needs to be re-created and I already have some basis done I would just need to focus on getting them up regularly and advertising it.

My other option is RPers Anonymous which is the site that I have the most focus on but the hardest time finding a software that is worth it and I can’t afford to straight upgrade my server to a VPS to get the software that mostly works and I certainly don’t have a few thousand to throw down to get it made and I’d have to go back to school to get the personal knowledge because all the crash courses that I’ve been through doesn’t really teach me proper security and security is important for what I’m looking for. So this idea is my primary one but I don’t have the money to throw at it.
I guess with this, if I wanted to upgrade, I could do hosting packages for RPers for small fees and it would include cPanel but I don’t know I guess it would depend I’d need enough interest in it to make up for the cost of the VPS. It’ would be something simple like maybe 3 bucks a month or 5 a month with Morr Support. I guess I should see how the free hosting goes first.

Last one is RP Status which is mostly supposed to be an addition to RPA so focusing on it would be silly other then posting to it updates. So it wouldn’t be worth it without it’s counterpart and see above for the problems with that.

I guess there is one other, Faerie Reverie which is supposed to be a site (whenever I finish it) about kids especially my kids even though they drive me crazy. It could be something of an ideas to play with your kids (as I normally don’t see pretty sites like it) but that would require me being a more involved parent and I don’t have time for it most of the time. I’d have to figure out ways to make things fun for my kids without spoiling them.

Another idea is to get Sex is Business off the ground which again would require a little money from me including getting my breasts done like I want to do and fixing my teeth. This one would be the site that I have photos of myself for sell in naughty ways. This is my preferred method but I don’t know how to market a site like this. It would definitely be a ton of fun starting out with certain photos and moving from there but again what to do.

My other domains like Knights of Cydonia, Card Rebellion, and Brain Damage are all RPGs so they aren’t something to make money off of as they are simply hobby. The others Woothappens and Lady Pirate are re-directors to other domains and I just have them for prettiness and show. So needless to say these aren’t options.

Now what do I want to get from my endeavors? Enough money to financially support my ability to stay at home and work on them. This is my end all goal. With that it would give me the ability to do my other desires including writing a book without the drain of muse. So needless to say I’m already blech about this all. I want so much more and I can’t attain it and I can’t make a decision on what to focus on.

I think my primary focus (until I decide) is to get Morrgasm up so I have my proper splash site and to-do list and determine my top priority. Feel free to post your opinion of this here as I’m always looking for feedback and suggestions. If you like an idea let me know and I’ll try and put more weight on that.

Frustrations of a Working Mother

So I love my kids and because I love my kids I work. While this is good it makes me feel slightly bad because the things that they are not succeeding in makes me feel like I’m failing. Like my daughter. I know she can read, I have watched her do it, but because I’m not there a lot of the time I feel like I’m not succeeding in helping her further her skills. I feel that my lack of reading to her while she was younger has stunted her ability to read.

I feel like an all around bad mother.

I know I’m not, don’t get me wrong. I’m there for my kids when they need me. I’m the fluffy stern woman that keeps them safe from monsters and darkness. It doesn’t make it hurt less that my daughter is struggling to read.

Now with that said she’s going to summer school…. Yes a kindergartener in Summer School but I’m doing this to keep her from being a 7 year old Kindergartener. It’s scary to think that she’s not in second grade already but I have to stay strong for that.

Adding to that I miss being at home with my kids. I remember when I was able to be home all the time and it hurts not to have that connection with them anymore. 🙁 I live with it though, not happily.

On the brighter side to that my boyfriend, affectionately called Cricket, has been an extreme help and rock for me and my wishy washy-ness. He helps with keeping me on the line of being stern but leaving me to my fluff. I definitely need him and love him to death. He keeps me grounded and sane. It’s very nice having someone like him in my life. He also watches my kids for me when he can while I’m at work. This by itself helps me because it means I see my kids more. It’s wonderful.

I guess there is more but I’ve lost my train of thought. Hopefully I’ll get to update this more soon.

Bonuses

So I am one to admit I’m not super exorbananly happy with my job but C’est La Vie. I need a way to take care of myself and my kids and so a job is required. As such I’ve been working hard to get a pay raise and a bonus promised for good stats and attendance. I’ve been anxiously awaiting for this ever possible pay raise for 5 months.

I got it!

I got the Pay raise. I got the bonus… Now what does that mean? I know you’re thinking “Uhhh… congratulations?” well yes! This means I can get a new computer to get back into my sites and groove and I’ll have it all back to normal again… Well sort of. I’m not intending to get another laptop, I’ll be getting a desktop finally. I don’t think I’ve owned a desktop since I’ve personally owned computers. I know my parents did. So I’m so estatic right now that I’ve been bounding out of my skin all week. Now all I have to do is make the decision on the computer I’m going to make or build.

Just thought you all may like to know!

Morrgroove Gone

So I feel that my Morrgroove or Morrmojo or Mojo-Jojo is gone and never coming back. I feel uninspired dull and downright blechy most days. I’ll sit at my computer and things that make me inspired and happy to do online feel like chores. It’s not supposed to be this way. My hobbies should feel fun and exciting to come home to. I should want to get all of my other stuff out of the way so I can sit down and enjoy the happy things and life. But I don’t and it depresses me.

So the normal responses that I’m sure I’ll here is “Get a new hobby” or “If it depresses you then find out why” well I don’t know why. I love being at my computer. I love writing. I love coding websites. I love making images. I LOVE Rping and yet all of these things don’t inspire me at all.  This could be the 12 hour days at work but really if that’s what is killing it for me then why did I enjoy them in the first place? Because it killed time? I used to itch to get home and turn on my laptop and see all the amazing things I missed that day and regret missing it. Now it’s just one more thing I need to do.

I need my Morrmuse back. It’s gone and I can’t find it. If you see her please send her straight back with my brain. It would be muchly appreciated.

Oversensitive… and not in the sexual way

So as always I Morr fuck things up. I swear I have a natural aversion to goods things in my life. It’s like when good things come my way I avoid them like the plague but when bad things come I’m attracted to it like a magnet.

The newest Morrfuckup is that I met this guy (and don’t groan and be like oh one of those stories. STFU and listen) and it turns out that we have a lot in common. Mind you I’ve recently discovered that since I like a lot of things that I have a lot in common with a lot of guys. It’s really easy to find things that you have in common if you have a lot to be in common about, but it’s oddly different. I’m talking right down to the enjoying Hentai and porn here people. But anyways, I digress. So I fucked things up last night and really it is my fault and I know it is. I get overly sensitive especially when I don’t fully understand the gravity of what I’m not supposed to be let in on and it hurts, I’ll add a needless to say that I wasn’t in the best of moods because it was in fact the Anniversary of my brother David’s Death and it always hits me like a ton of bricks when I’m thinking it isn’t coming for me.

ANYWAYS! I got upset for no reason but it was a reason because I didn’t understand and I know that’s part of me but then when I tried to cheer him up he snapped at me and that just hurt my feelings and I’ve been hurt ever since.

Now afterward, this is one thing that we work on different wavelengths on and it’s difficult for me because part of it goes over my head and the other part of it just hits a brick wall and it totally throws me for a loop but he has no mannerisms. Or let me correct and say he has few mannerisms and it makes it hard to read. Now he tells me to just ask but I don’t like to ask. I feel pesteringy when I ask because I feel like that’s all I’m doing but he tells me to do it anyways and the other thing is that I have never been able to take things at face value. Ever. People don’t talk like that. There is always underlying innuendo or something that I’m missing and even with what happened there was because I just didn’t know the difference between upset and freaking out. It’s a big difference and it makes it difficult to know what to do if I don’t know what that difference is. Another difference is when I’m upset, no matter how I’m upset (sometimes even when I tell you to get the fuck away) I want to be cheered up or pushed back on. I like to know I’m wanted and I know he wants me but instead of getting push back I pretty much just fell over.

Zayzie did cheer me up a bit but then I fell right back down the pit when I talked to him today.

So I said mean things that I did and didn’t mean. At least I think so. I’ve been hurt and I’m sad and all cry-ey which is really odd. I only say that because of all of the boys I’ve been with I didn’t cry for too long afterwards or regret it really either. I mean I sometimes wish there were ways to fix it but looking back I’m better off without and I really regret the things I said.

He’s mad at me and I understand. I broke up with him because I was upset.

I’m a Morron.

I feel bad and I love him but I don’t know if it’s fixable. I hate when I can’t fix it.

Another thing is he doesn’t like when I apologize but I apologize a lot. It’s just something I do. Whether it’s because I’m a submissive or I’m genuine or I feel that it’s the way to get everyone happy again. I like when people are happy. I like to be happy so I apologize and he hates it and he snaps at me about that too. I don’t know what to do to fix it as I can’t wipe it away but C’est La Vie.

As always. I fuck everything up.

I am a horrible person. And we weren’t even testing for that.

#Morrfail

Only One Morrigan

So, I have a new boy that I am dating and he has a somewhat obsessive ex that thought that he was cheating on her with me because we chatted on IM. Long story short it wasn’t true. He broke up with her and now she’s causing a big massive amount of llama drama which is sadly not llama-ey, just drama-ey.

Now to continue this fantastic story the other day she sent the boy in question a message that appeared to be a copy and paste of a FB conversation that she had started with me. Mind you, I have only sent her one correspondence and that was because she demanded one from me , to the boy. So I sent her a message back, that was pre-approved by both my Internet wife and my boy before I sent it. SO, this message was as follows:

Just so you know, we did sleep together. He’s not yours to control and he can do whatever he wants.
Also the hickeys were from me, but had I known he wouldn’t last that long I may have thought twice.
So you know what why don’t you stay away from him. He doesn’t want you anymore.
He’s found a better woman to be with, he doesn’t even know you exist anymore so just give up!
He told me how bad you were, how crazy you are. Well guess what, now he’s mine just like I knew he’d be.
So get lost and stay away from MY man.

Now reading that, if you don’t know me, is pretty good attempt at trying to pretend to be me. Unlike this person, there is capitalization and punctuation and even seems somewhat coherent, it’s not even close to something I would write. Lets break it down on how Un-Morrigan like it really is.

  • First things first, I ALWAYS name the puppy. I don’t care if you know exactly what or who I’m talking about, if I’m being administrative in any way I name the puppy so Geo( my boy’s name) would have been mentioned first sentence.
  • While I can be talkative I’m not long winded. If anything, as you can tell, I am rather blunt.
  • I tend to not use the phrase Just so you know, especially when I’m talking to someone that I’m not on good terms with. It’s just not a common phrase unless I’m on the phone informing someone of something extra. This information that I supposedly wrote was not just a “so you know” thing. This correspondence that I wrote is more or less a “bitch please” and so the phrase doesn’t fit.
  • The “he can do whatever he wants” sounds so South Park-ish to me. I guess maybe but I would keep any correspondence with this woman, to be honest, about her and not about my boy, since that’s actually where the problem lies.
  • I find the word hickeys lewd. I much prefer a gentler term like “Love Bites” or “Marked”
  • I would never discuss sex with someone that I didn’t feel comfortable about it with. Which I don’t really care but I mean I certainly wouldn’t talk shop with an ex. Not really my thing. If you guys really want to know the truth? He rocks my socks.
  • I am not a jealous person, I actually support being friends with people that need it. Then again I may not support him being friends with her just because of her negative behavior but that’s mostly because I’ve had enough negativity in my life to know that it doesn’t get you anywhere, just sticks you in the mud and makes it difficult to move forward.
  • I don’t believe that he doesn’t want her, well maybe he doesn’t, but honestly I know that people that have long relationships, regardless of how they act, care in a deeper manner even if they aren’t the right match for one another. I do believe that he would like to be friends with her because I think he does respect her despite her flaws.
  • I, by no means, think I am a better  person then this woman. I just know I’m different, nothing more, nothing less.
  • I absolutely do not believe that he doesn’t know she exists anymore. She texts him all the time and he doesn’t ignore her (did you know I had mind blowing 69 sex that I don’t even remember. Neither does he.Weird. It must have been so amazing we both got a bout of amnesia about it.)
  • He did tell me about the jealousy and things but I would focus on that. really, it’s her life, she should live it how she wants it.
  • I never said I knew he would be mine. Hell, had he said he had a girlfriend I wouldn’t have even have thought he was on the market, not even a small bit.
  • I don’t tell people to get lost, I tell them to gtfo (get the fuck off).
  • I would never say “MY man!” it sounds too Jerry Springer. Not just that there is no exclamation to emphasize it. I would simply say mine.
  • I also don’t single space anything unless I’m writing disconnected thought sentences that relate to one another.
  • Lastly, I probably would have summed the entire thing up in about two sentences. “Stop being a fucking cunt licking bitch and take care of your daughter instead of focusing your life problems on someone that, honestly, should be commended for putting forth the effort to help someone that honestly doesn’t appear to want to help themselves. Have a good life, I wish you and your daughter the best and I can’t wait until we can maybe be friends.<333 Morr”

I’m sure there is more but that’s all I feel the want to talk about. Needless to say my boy wants to talk on the phone and is fucking distracting me from writing any further so I will leave it here and bid you ado and enjoy the lols because Morr <33’s you! Feel free to post your comments if you want.