So this morning I awoke remembering a piece of my dream. It was one of the strangest dreams I think I've ever had.
Now to start off I only started watching the guys youtube videos because he reads Twilight in a way I can understand without torturing myself through actually reading it and I think his commentary is hilarious (and a friend showed it to me) but I've never really watched much more then that, except the Atheist's puzzle thing about two days ago. As for attractiveness, I don't know. I don't think he's unattractive but this is just plain weird.
So my dream
The man that was in my dream was Nerimon aka Alex Day. And the dream honestly wasn't very long but weird. I think it was a combination of reading spam yesterday and exhaustion or maybe some subliminal message that I like men that are unavailable (which I already knew and knew why).
First part of my dream involved this blog and Nerimon commented on my blog. I don't know what it said because, well it was a dream I can't read things in dreams. But I was so excited because I honestly don't get a lot of legit comments but I know it was a compliment on my last blog post. I got all stoked and he started reading my blog regularly and we became friends. Then it's starting to get hazy so I'm starting to lose the dream here. I remember it ended up with Nerimon and I in some sort of bizarre relationship and we were very happy about it.
Disclaimer: I do not know Nerimon nor think that he reads my blog. I don't expect anything, the above was just a dream that I had last night.
My interpretation of the dream
Well I believe it's my brain telling me what I already know. I'm lonely (despite having my kids, it's an intimate loneliness) and I like to be infatuated with men that are completely unavailable to me. Why? Because I don't want to burden someone with my problems and my kids. It's a mean thing to do despite my yearn for romance and intimacy. Being divorced has pretty much solidified my intimate loneliness so I try to make up for it with my stories, obviously my fantasies and my kids. While my kids can't give me the romance and intimacy that I want they give me love which is enough and I know it despite want for more.