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Morrigan

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Everything posted by Morrigan

  1. Morrigan

    Welcome to Pages

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  2. Morrigan

    Nervous Breakdown

    Alright, so I think I took on too much and I'm starting to feel the effects of it. I'm unfocused, I have a constant ringing headache. I want to finish things but when I start looking at it I start to feel a little panicky, which honestly, isn't anything like me. I have a few projects that have deadlines and this normally doesn't bother me but I've just been having such a hard time concentrating on it. I feel terrible, I know I'm letting people down, which just adds to my stress. I CAN DO IT. I know I can it's just the lack of focus just makes doing anything really difficult. What doesn't help? The fact that I keep having things add to the stress, like I got rear ended last week, I scraped my leg at the pool I mean it feels like a never ending pile that I can never get out from under. I have a day job, I have this other job I just don't know if I can do it without really going for it and not having the standard day job. The stress of having both, I think is the root of my issues with doing this. I want to focus but after a long day/week at work I don't feel up to working more. It's not that I want to disappoint anyone I just really really want to unwind and I feel that I'm just constantly letting everyone I know down in this situation. I am going to finish the current projects that I have and then take some time away from it for a bit and just see what I can do for priorities on this. I need to have me time and time for this so I think what really needs to happen is that I set hours for this other job. Whether it's Tues-Thursday from 5PM-9PM I think it's a boundary I need to set for myself. Help? Comments? Support? I feel like I'm drowning even though I'm not.
  3. So, as most people know, I can't really function without my kids. I love them so much it's painful being away from them. Trust me when I say I try to put my thoughts and efforts into other things, it's not as helpful as I wished it was. I miss my kiddos. Plain and simple fact. I try to drowned out the loneliness, the not having Troy around to tell me seventy different stories in one breathedness, with chatting with friends, with sleeping, with coding. It's not nearly as helpful as I'd wish it would be. It really sucks when I want to chat and no one is on to talk. Know I miss my babies. I miss my Troy. I miss my Fae. You are my light. You are what I live for. Thursday cannot come fast enough.
  4. Well I'm trying to get myself settled into new things, including a new theme for the site. I'm going to try and post more regularly again. I'm not sure I'll do daily posts like I tried to do before but I may try to do a post every three days. Other projects I'm working on right now are 3 story blogs. One is Knights of Cydonia One is Card Rebellion and the last is I <3 Fangs. The last one is a collaborative one with Ghost but the rest are just for me. I'm thinking I may start pouring my RP energy into these instead. I've been feeling the lack lusterness of just everything. It's likely the time of the year and all that jazz but things will hopefully go better. Move goals: Start Yoga again Write a post a day for one of my 5 blogs (Morrgasm, Morrigan's Madness, KoC, CR or I <3 Fangs). Try new dinner or dessert (or both) dish once a week. Post an image a day to Instagram. I hope you enjoy the new theme. I'll start displaying more of my space work as I go. Edit: Added instagram thing onto the list.
  5. So I enjoy smiling and I hate giving tight lipped smiles so that people can't see the teeth that have gotten smacked and broken and continue to break over time. I want to get it fixed and it's really expensive, to the point that dental insurance wouldn't even cover it. They probably wouldn't cover any of my mouth to be completely honest. That's why I'm reaching out. If I can get the money together I want to go under and come out with brand new teeth. Dentures simply aren't an option for me. That being said! I need your help! Go here and donate to help me get my smile back! Please!? Top ten donators will be able to suggest a cosplay that I will attempt to do!
  6. So I recently had a falling out with one of my oldest RP friends. I'm very tore up about it, it makes me very sad that this has happened as it was all around a bad situation. It was a lot of shit that piled up to a large culmination of me putting my foot down. Now let me explain, the aggression wasn't outrightly directed about me but that doesn't mean that it would not in some way affect me. It's naive to think that something that is aimed at other people in my life won't somehow affect how I feel or the things that go on and the way that those people feel. I'm a very empathetic person, I tend to be angry when people are angry and I'm sad when their sad. This doesn't mean I'm being manipulated, in fact, quite the contrary. It means that I'm being informed instead of ignorant. The way people treat other people is a very important aspect of knowing and caring for someone else and seeing the way that this person attacked people that I knew really harmed me, harmed my feelings to know that I am friends with such a vindictive person. Now please don't mistake, I am human, I am vindictive and I lash out when hurt but I feel that they were starting to push the limits too far and push the aggression past an appropriate level. I watched it happen. I tried to cull it in in a positive manner. My positivity did not diminish their negativity. After a tireless effort to try and stem the behavior with subtle hints that they were being such I finally had to put my foot down and tell them that their words and actions were hurting me and I asked them to make a choice between my friendship and this vindictive grudge that they were on a crusade to express to harm people around me. Unfortunately they chose the grudge I think overall, what hurts me the most is that the person couldn't see past the blind rage of hurt to the fact that instead of mending a wound they were making more. They blame me for being manipulated when I made every decision and every approach myself without consult to anyone else from start to finish as well as I was the one that identified anything I brought to them as it was not harmful to the other people (it was but that was not why I brought it to them) but because it was indirectly harmful to me. I know some things hurt but that's no reason to hurt other people. I hope that everything gets better for anyone hurting right now and I certainly hope that when you are hurt that you can see past that and try not to hurt other people and if you do at least recognize it eventually and apologize. If you don't, then I'm sorry.
  7. So, as everyone knows, I roleplay. I love to roleplay, I love to write collaboratively with other people and I love to simply enjoy people. Well, one thing about roleplayers is that we like specific genres because that's the flavor of writing we like to enjoy. One thing that perturbs me is that so many people akin the work "fantasy" to elves and dwarves when, fantasy is anything that isn't realistic. Now the thing that really confuses me is that the word itself is immediately constituted with something medieval. So that got me to thinking: What is fantasy exactly? Well, fantasy is anything that isn't reality basically. So why the label of Medieval? Probably something akin to media stating that Medieval movies are "Fantasy" and that Science Fiction is "Sci-Fi" but really? They are leaving off words, words that are important to people that write. I even stress to say that a Historical roleplay is a "Historical Fantasy". No matter the time frame as it is not reality. It's not like me typing up this long babbling post about my confusion of the word itself. So Fantasy is a word to mean, not real life. My point is, when I ask what sort of Fantasy I'm looking to find what your flavor of fantasy you prefer. All roleplays are fantasy (even the real life based ones) so it easier to define your genre. I am a fantasy enthusiast, I stray toward Science Fiction more than Modern or Medieval but I enjoy Fantasy. How about you?
  8. Okay, so I administrate over at Distant Fantasies and as such, on a regular basis get to see new sites or existing sites as I just browse the DF Directory. As such I find sites that strike my fancy and while I am not a chronic site joiner I love to be able to suggest sites to my friends and I've noticed this blaring trend of waffling. Now I say that and your first instinct is 'wtf is waffling' but waffling is a failure for one to make up their mind. Mind you, I'm a queen waffler IRL. Next question you ask is 'wtf are they waffling about'? Well that's where it gets interesting. It's their word count. Now mind you, I'm an avid anti-word count advocate. I find that I have as much potency in a one line post as some people feel that you only get from hundreds, if not thousands, of words. That notwithstanding though, I don't like reading things like: We're a no word count site but...... But what? Are you a no word count site or aren't you? There is no buts in such a statement unless you're not, in fact, a no word count site. If you add in a "but we like to see at least three paragraphs" or "we prefer that you have at least 200 words" then why don't you make that you're minimum? A "no word count" site means that I can post one word or I can post ten thousand but there is absolutely no restriction on how many I am required to put into that post box. After I read this and it infuriated me, I talked to my boyfriend Cricket about this. Mind you, my boyfriend is a DnD based roleplayer, he uses his dice to determine things while I use communication with my partner. I asked him if he had this type of thing in his campaign, these types of players and he said that he did except his players are overly wordy for the sake of trying to cover all of there basis so they don't get killed. "I turned the knob to the left really slowly before pushing the door open, just as slowly as to not make a sound" and we both didn't know of a single person that was legitimately that careful, especially when you consider the setting. I explained to him that for my format that people felt themselves on a higher rank than you due to the amount of words that they post, no matter how relevant or important those words were to be able to progress the story line. The conversation continued and he asked about how relevant the post content was and I advised him 70-90 percent of it is fluff to fill the word count or time travel posting (time travel posting is responding to parts of the previous post because the previous roleplayer continued past that point and didn't giv eyou ample opportunity to respond even though your character, would in fact, respond). Time travel posting incites more time travel posting which incites more fluff to fill an arbitrary number for a ranking system that only exists in the minds of the players themselves. I'm a 17 year play by post roleplayer. I have been through the advanced years when 1200 words were the minimum to be considered a part of the roleplay elite of "Advanced" and I've been through the years that 600 words was that and now the new trend is "no word count but". I'm an advanced roleplayer and after all this time I've come to finally a zen point in my roleplaying time to have finally figured out that: This is just a game. I shouldn't feel like getting onto my roleplay sites is a job. There is no reason for this and I should feel like my relaxation hobby is a chore. Word counts make it a chore. A word count is an arbitrary number to keep up a fascist belief that more is better. I'm going to fill you in, that if it doesn't contribute to the plot then it's likely not worth your time to type it out. How many books have you read that a character inner monologues for pages, upon pages, upon pages, that actually keep your interest and doesn't progress the plot. Sure you can talk about your childhood tragedy for 400 words but how does that help your character now, or the plot that you are trying to progress but posting about how your character shifts uncomfortably and gets a look in their eye that someone might be able to see, that's proper writing. Yes, I reduced 400 words into a single sentence but the single sentence is far more potent. Word counts kill the muse. I've read posts that are amazingly long that give me absolutely nothing to reply to and one liners that speak volumes in themselves that inspire me to write a thousand words. If the situation calls for the post then post it but don't strangle me with your words because you are obligated or you feel a better sense of self by posting a longer post. It perpetuates a lie that your quality cannot be seen by posting something less then some arbitrary number. Confucius say: "Do not use a cannon to kill a mosquito." I can't say how appropriate this is. Your concise words should speak the volumes in your character actions. Really in the end you will play the site you're comfortable with and if that's the site that requires 3 paragraphs or nine million words per post, then so be it. I just request that you stop your waffling and either say your no word count because you are or say your a word/paragraph count site because that's what you are. There is no reason to have a but in your rule about count minimums if you have one set in your mind. Make up your fucking mind.
  9. Remember that post forever ago? With Uncle Sam in a Star Trek Uniform! Well a Star Trek Podcast found in and asked to use it so I thought I'd remind you of it and send you there way: http://priorityonepodcast.com/ They are looking for volunteers for their podcast. If you are interested go check them out and get involved!
  10. Morrigan

    Updating sites

    So I'm in the process of updating Morrigan's Madness and Morrgasm. I was thinking that Morrigan's madness needed something new and improved for a skin (still working on that) and just a makeover all around. Excitingly I added a new plugin that I think will be helpful. It's an all in one Social media plugin. I find that I forget to Tweet when I post and having something do it for me is always fabulous. Plus it takes a load off my shoulders for it.The plugin is Jetpack and is downloadable through Wordpress so if you have Wordpress and want something that really integrates social media into your site, I'm enjoying it so far, I would suggest it. Only piece of advice I could give anyone about it, there is a built in like feature and any posts created before installing the plugin don't seem to be able to use it, but if you update the post it will fix it (no changes need to be made) and you can use the mass edit and just choose "Update" and it will leave all posts as they were and fix the bug. Let me add into that:If you are using the Jetpack plugin and are having an issue with the Like link constantly showing as "Loading" edit the post and then publish it and it will fix the issue. I have decided, with the discovery of this plugin, that I will also be installing Wordpress on my main site, Morrgasm.com so look for that in the next week.
  11. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone that I'm a big fan of Halloween. This year is no different. All out crazy and I'm designing for comiccon too. I am sad that my daughter changed her mind last minute to Abbey Bomindable from Monster High but that is her choice. I was just hoping to go as a DC family this year. Maybe for Comiccon next year? So costumes: Troy is going to be Batman. Fae is Abbey Bomindable. Cricket is The Doctor. I will be Harley Quinn, the Arkham City version. I have had to custom make my custom to be up to my standards so I will likely take some pics so you can see my progress. I haven't quite finished but I have most everything figured out or partially made. I know I need to light a fire. I don't have boots yet but I am going to postpone that for now and just go with my black pair of boots. That and her under bust corset will be put off until comiccon. I will post pics later. Super excited.
  12. Morrigan

    Boyfriends

    You know your boyfriend is perfect for you when they understand the priorities in your life. Not only does he understand but he goes out of his way to fix those things for or with you no matter how frustrating or annoying you can be. He snuggles you even though you are a giant and it's difficult. He will get you anything despite how sure you are that you can get it yourself. Today was one of those days. Something I enjoy and take pride in are my websites and when my sites are broken I get stressed, it's worse when I have no way to fix them in a timely manner. (Like right now since I'm at work). I spazz and the boyfriend comes to the rescue by helping me. Talk about remote tech supporting. Fabulous person that knows how much work I put into everything. H one of the few people that puts up with my nuances and my small annoying things. Not many people that you can find that appreciates you because of you predictability.
  13. So I've had Star Trek RPG coded and open since March. Now it's a fabulous looking website and it's smooth fix width layout. Gorgeous. The pink version is my favorite. Now that' all fine and dandy but I browse my website from mobile devices and this has been driving me crazy! Like nutters beyond my normal insanity... On the post page (and only on pages with posts) there is something that makes the 1100px width larger, specifically on the right hand side. (BTW I figured it out about here in writing this). It looks like there is a 1300 pixel margin but it's only on the right. My mobile devices do it too and I haven't been able to figure it out. Now this was going to be a plea for someone to help me figure it out but I went and click a few buttons to see if I could figure it out. Now with that clicking I found a new thing in the built in Firefox for inspecting code. It's this cool 3D thing to show me the layers in my website. Well turning that on it showed me the element that was causing it (it was a conflict in a width of an element I shrunk manually for the post screen) and have since fixed it. So what is the moral to this story? Click new buttons.
  14. "You've never seen anything like this next act. You've seen fire dancers and fire spinners the next act is... well a fire master. Presenting the one and only Ignaciooooooo Flint!" the man in the center spun around in a circle to the empty circus tent as if he were introducing this person. A slow clap echoed toward me from the closed entrance. "You do have quite a flair for being a ringmaster. It's too bad that I have that job." "Mordria," the man stumbled over his own shoes falling to the floor. "I... I didn't mean any offense I just...." "You just what? Felt the desire to see what it was like to be me? It's not as easy as being in an empty room," she smiled her bluish pale skin shining with a strange luminosity that only she seemed to have. He found it unnerving although her other features were equally as disturbing. The stitches near her mouth were certainly not helpful with her frown as she approached him. "I just," he swallowed hard as he scrambled to his feet, wiping himself off. "I like what you do, I wish I could do it." He didn't look to her, he knew what was coming next. She would reprimand him and tell him to stop dreaming. "Unfortunately for you young one, in a circus of the damned no one retires. Take me for example. I have been around for longer then I remember. Victim of voodoo and vampirism. I barely keep myself together yet I have not left. I cannot leave and I cannot die. I will be ringmaster for eternity," she informed him solemnly. No reprimand, no lecture. She was reaching out for his help. "Perhaps I could do your job. If you let me, give you a break for a few centuries?" "Haha," she laughed shortly a smile brought to her face. "That is cute. You cannot handle my job though," she picked up his shoes, holding them out to him. "The others would eat you alive." "Not if you help me," he pleaded as she dropped the boots into his arms. "I can do this." "The woman reached up and stroked the side of his face. "Sweet vampire," she said smiling to expose her own teeth, "what makes you think that I would let you do my job?" "You-ou-ou sound so, uh..." he looked hugging the boots to his chest. "You sounded like you needed a break. I guess I was wrong." "Oh, I'm tired but you're scared of me." "Who wouldn't be?" he gulped. "You're right," she smiled darkly to him as he started to back away from her. "If you run you might be able to get away from me. Vampire blood sustains me far better then human blood," she said with a cocky raise of her brow. The man started out of the tent from the direction that she came in, pulling on his left boot. He continued on holding his right boot in his hand. "Run, run little vampire," she whispered as she looked over her shoulder. The man continued to run through the woods between the circus and the small town. All he could hear was the thudding of his footsteps and the branches as the slapped him. He was getting away. She was going to let him live. He started to slow down a smile creeping onto his face as he slumped against the nearby tree. He breathed a sigh of relief, a human action that showed his youth. "I made it," he said quietly to himself. A light laugh came from behind the tree, "You can't think I'd give up that easily could you?" the woman said as she stepped from behind the tree, her black boots quiet even with the underbrush. The man closed his eyes shoving the picture of the woman in the black and white corset out of his mind as he began to pray muttering to himself. "If you meet her, tell her that I still want to be saved," she whispered, her cold breath on his neck. He wished this wasn't his fate, he didn't want to be stuck there forever but this? The cool lips of death brushed against the skin of his neck. Then there was the searing pain of her fangs as they sank into his neck. Slowly the pain ebbed into a soft numbness as his right shoe fell from his arm and thudded to the ground. PS. Weekend with the family was fabulous. I love you Cricket. I love you Fae. I love you Troy.
  15. So I promised myself that I would continuously update my blog but it's apparent that I didn't do that. I mean my last post was months ago and it was forever before that too. To be completely honest it's been a lack of motivation. I have been busy at work and I come home and all I want to do is RP and watch TV. The sad part is that I haven't been getting a lot of RP done. I mean I post faster then most of my RP partners and it's a little exhausting because my muse ends up on overdrive and I have to come to a full stop. I've considered writing alone again but I find it boring compared to writing with others. Then there were considerations of a web comic again but I'm just not that good of an artist but I have a ton of ideas for it. I'm still working on it though I really feel that I need to create a buffer which is the hardest part. Sadly? What I think I need is to turn off the Internet for a few days and send my BF away so that he can play with friends. Get my kids over to their grandmas house and then just draw for a weekend. If anyone has any good advice on how to stay focused I'd love some. I'm having such issues with getting focused lately. I mean I haven't even been able to sit down and code for... fuck for a year? More? I just can't seem to do it. I can concentrate for small spats but I feel like I'm constantly interrupted and I can't sit still. On a lighter note? My son is doing pretty well in Kindergarten so far! I'm looking forward to my kids' school pictures this year! They were both super cute when they left the house. My daughter is becoming a great reader. I'm hoping she'll be way better then me because I'm terrible. My son can count to 40 so far. It was a hard road to forty but it's coming around. Otherwise there isn't really anything. Site updates: New site: Trek Into the Darkness New site: Star Trek RPG Joined site: Prey Staffing at: Distant Fantasies Attempting to work on the Character Mod and get it properly functioning on install. Working on Morrgasm. Halloween costumes: Fae wants to be Catwoman. Troy wants to be Batman. I feel that I should go with this theme and make a Harley Quinn outfit.
  16. Morrigan

    Little Trekkies

    My kiddos.
  17. So today was Free Comic book day and I went to a comic store in Star Trek garb for a paramount pictures thing to! Totally won a pair of tickets to the screening of it here in AZ. I'm so stoked! I can't wait to be there! [gallery ids=4173,4174,4175,4176,4177,4178,4179,4180,4181,4182,4183,4184,4185,4186,4187,4188,4189,4190,4191,4192,4193,4194,4195,4196,4197,4198,4199,4200,4201] These are pics of everyone I was able to get or steal pictures of so enjoy! Everyone was awesome.
  18. Just want to show off my epic Star Trek Uncle Sam that I made the other night for my Star Trek site. Check him out:
  19. So I've been working on my story, Knights of Cydonia and I've determined part of my hold up is the amount of information I know and how much of it I want to intersect the stories together. I need a good method for putting all of my stories together. To make them work from beginning to end so they don't seem disjointed. I feel I have a good story in my head I just can't figure out what to do with it all. I don't know how to get the paths to all move to the middle and make my spider web complete. I've tried many different methods: Writing it down. Using timeline software online. Using story software. Trying NaNo. Typing out an outline. I just can't seem to find something that works for me. I'm thinking my way may be the traditionalist way. Writing it on note cards and pinning it to the wall with a string to line them together. My biggest problem with that is that I want there to be a lot of events and my walls aren't that big. So I mean suggestions? Questions? Send me some TLC and snug me to tell me it's alright? Please!? DORIS would love you.
  20. "You're awake!" his voice was almost cheery as her bleary eyes blinked against the brightness of the room. She opened her mouth to speak but her throat felt dry. Licking her lips she opened her eyes to look at him. He looked somewhat disheveled. "What's going on?" she croaked as the room slowly came into focus. She was surrounded in plastic just like Gregory James was. "Do you know these men?" "Yes," she croaked again as she tried to move to be held back by a sticky sensation of firmness. She looked down to see that she was covered in plastic just like Mr James and that made her head spin around in a circle groaning her eyes fluttering to the top of her head her mind whirling almost putting her out again. "Oh, no, stay with me," he said moving closer to her bringing her focus back into the present. So this is why she was sweating. She couldn't figure out how she got here. When she got here... "How did I get here? Were is Gregory?" "Gregory?" his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Who is that?" "The guy I was going to kill," she said with a huff, closing her eyes against the annoyingly loud light. The darkness didn't comfort her, the light bleeding through her eyelids. "It's good that I caught you before you did." "I knew what you were when I saw you at the police station. You're just like all of them," she said rolling her head to the images hung up for her viewing pleasure. "I'm nothing like them." "You are like them. Like me," she smirked. "Wolf in sheeps clothing." "I'm nothing like you. Killing innocent people," he yelled turning around and running a hand over his hair. Elizabeth couldn't help but let out a throaty laugh. "You think they are innocent?" she asked him her grin spreading across her lips. "Jamie Deak, woman rapist. Preferred type 15-20 years of age, vulnerable and red headed. Stalks his victims for 1 month before he abducts them. Wears masks so they can recognize them and bathes them before he drops them off in a random park to find their way home," she nodded to another picture. "Julio Cortez, likes to beat his women and prefers that they fight. Doesn't stalk them has a few women that he absuses regularly that can't get away from him for fear of their family." Elizabeth looked to Dexter before she continued, "Darren Lumley, takes advantage of his college students and promises them good grades for sex or failure for denial. Prefers the mousy quiet ones to the loud and confident ones. Erik Cross, Voyeur and blackmailer. When the blackmail isn't enough he abducts women and rapes them with inanimate objects taping it. Dexter Morgan, abducts and kills. Preferences... unknown. The difference is they don't kill people but they may as well have. They destroy lives which is the same thing." "No," he shook his head. "Deny it all you want. Isn't this your ritual?" Dexter finally nodded. "I am nothing like them. I have control over the dark passenger." "Really?" she asked genuinely intrigued. "Then why is he loose?" why was she so calm in the face of her killer? Whatever got her here, whatever that journey in her mind was it prepared her for this and she knew what was coming. Why be afraid of it? She wanted it. "This is control. I focus it..." "Keep telling yourself that cupcake," she interrupted him. "Because when they find out what you are, what control you have they'll be just as disgusted of you as they are of them," she nodded to the pictures, "or me." "I'm different." "We all are. We're all special snowflake killers," he shoved a piece of cotton in her mouth. "Shut up," he growled at her. She closed her eyes as the scalpel came to her cheek the thin blade biting at her skin a trail of blood dripping down the side of her cheek. "Thank you," she mumbled but it was more like a "mnnn ouuu" sound with the piece of cotton in her mouth. Elizabeth looked up to him a smile on her face as he lifted the knife. What a beautiful ritual... The knife came straight down into her sternum, she grunted at the sensation, a tear rolling down the side of her face in happiness. She was free now. Free from the anger. Free from the pain. Free from the urge. Free from the herself. Free from the world. They say as you die that you see your life flash before your eyes. All she saw was how she got there. It was just before the unfamiliar shoe. It was a struggle with him. He had kneed her painfully in her side that's where the throbbing and sharp pains had come from. Finally he got her pinned to the ground and shoved a needle in her neck and she fell asleep. Like now... the image of Dexter atop of her faded to the Dexter shuddering in delight in front of her before it faded to darkness. The eternal silent dark.
  21. Morrigan

    Brightness

    This part of her ritual was different. There was something about it that made her excited but set her off. She felt agitated as she sat there waiting for the guy to come out. She could practically feel how wrong this was in her bones. She ached. Her muscles were tense. She felt like she wanted to scream. She smiled to herself, in a way it was right and yet so very wrong. She was wearing a long sleeved shirt to cover all the henna tattoos. She was wearing soft makeup, her mascara running down her face from the fake tears she had been crying. Her normally disheveled and short hair covered in a blonde wig that went past her shoulders in soft curls. She sat on the bench in front of Gregory James' building. It wasn't long, he always stayed after everyone else to screw his secretary. She had waited until after the secretary left before she came and sat down to wait for him. He always stayed up there afterward to smoke a cigar and drink a glass of scotch. Elizabeth smirked as he hit the door exactly when she expected. She quickly wiped it off her face as she began to sob louder to catch his attention. Routines... They all had them. Some were better then others. Some were to keep a schedule. Some to keep sanity. Some, like for Gregory James, were t keep to some form of a perverse life of perfection and superiority. Tonight his routine would change. The man approached looked around for a moment before his eyes settled on her. She didn't see it because her face was buried in her hands but he smirked at her. She continued to sob even as the the man's shoes came to where she could see it. "What's the matter doll face?" he asked her, it sadly almost sounded sincere. Elizabeth sniffled as she looked up to him. "I," her chin quivered, "I just..." she sobbed again as she saw Dexter silently move in behind him. "My fiance just got killed in a car accident and... and..." Dexter's hand went around his shoulders as he stabbed his plunger into his neck and depressed it. The man made a small attempt at a struggle before he fell to the ground. "And that was awesome. Is that how you do it?" as she looked from the man on the ground to the predator in front of her. "Yes," he said bending down to grab the rather lithe man. He reminded her of a young Christian Bale... dark hair, fit but thin with a round face. Strong chin. He would have struggled more had she been alone. He would have been very difficult to subdue. Her side burned more at the thought. "So much cleaner then me," she said as she watched him pick the man up and lift him over his shoulder. Elizabeth picked up the briefcase. "In more ways then one," he said to her which caused her to frown at him, her brow furrowing again in confusion. "What do you mean?" "My body disposal is cleaner as well." "How do you dispose of them then?" "The ocean," he said. Elizabeth gasped. "You're not!" she said breathlessly. "Not what?" he looked over his shoulder at her, his own confusion written on his face. "The butcher," she said conspiratorially low. "I hated that name," his voice was etched with annoyance. "But I thought that the butcher was dead..." "Someone is dead." "That's obvious." How exactly did they get in the car? It didn't matter they were going to the kill room. It wasn't exactly right. It was covered in plastic, just like the man himself. Where were the cleaning products? She had to be calm, what she wanted was there. What she needed was there. The tools of her trade. The things to make him scream... But Dexter put something in his mouth. He couldn't cry for help. If he did someone would hear him. She knew that. This was going too fast. How did they get to the kill room already. Elizabeth's mind was whirling with the strangeness of this all. Was it because it was so wrong that nothing was working out correctly? That nothing was the way it was supposed to be that she didn't notice the details? That had to be it. Everything wasn't as right as she needed it to be. There were her tools. There was the man. There was her. Her hair was in her face. She was sweating. When had she started sweating? What did she do to start sweating? It was the room, the room was hot. So many bodies, too much body heat for the small room. "I..." she said breathlessly again as the room started to spin. This all felt wrong. So wrong. Her side started to ache but not the burning throb of a stab wound but the dull throb like someone kicked her hard in the side. The room started to get obscenely bright as she stared at Dexter. Was he grinning? That image took her breath away as she heard his voice but it was far away, not from the man in front of her. He was above her, like the light. Elizabeth blinked again. What was happening? "Good..."
  22. The next day with Dexter was an odd one for Elizabeth. She woke up and Dexter was gone which made her panic for a few moments. Looking around she sat up and slipped off the bed. She slowly approached the door, her clothes abandoned to the floor. As she got closer to the door she could smell the lightest hint of bacon in the air. She opened the door and peered her head out. She didn't see him but she could hear the tell tale signs of food cooking. She was hesitant about leaving the sanctity of the room but she abandoned it as her stomach knotted painfully in hunger. Slowly Elizabeth tip toed out into the living area peering around the corner to see Dexter there cooking food. She watched for a few moments before he looked up to her and smiled. "Hungry?" he asked her. She stared a moment longer before she came out from her corner. "Very," she said to him with a growing grin. "Did we really?" He nodded as he turned and placed a plate filled with food on the counter for her. He gave her a once over before he went back to eating. "I'm a closet nudist," she said to him as if she knew what he was thinking. "I was just appreciating," he said flipping the burner off. raising an eyebrow she got up onto a chair and picked up her fork before she started to eat looking at Dexter more then she was at her food. He moved like a sheep but under that facade he was a wolf and it amazed her. How did he fit in so well. Even she didn't feel that comfortable in her own skin. She suddenly felt highly uncomfortable without any clothes on. "How do you do that?" she said pointing at him with her fork and indicating to his whole being. "What exactly?" "Blend so well," she said tilting her head to the side and looking at him like a new angle would help her figure it out. "I had a good teacher." "You're the prodigy of a serial killer?" she said the shock apparent in her voice as she stared at him with a furrowed brow. The shake to his head brought out a firmer look, the predator within tensing at the question. It was almost too beautiful to watch as he fought the instincts. "No," he said to her. "Then what?" "My dad knew what I was. I have a code," he said as if that explained it all. "Don't we all," she breathed at him before taking a bite of the bacon, her wicked alligator grin on her face. She wanted to sink her teeth back into his flesh. Feel how good it was again. "What's next?" He looked up from his plate and shrugged. "I don't know." There was a few minutes of silence as they both at. She chewed thoughtfully on the eggs that she was made before she took in a breath to ask the next question, "What if I asked for your help?" "What sort of help?" he asked setting down his plate. "Help to get a target," she licked her lips. This was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do. She still wasn't quite strong enough. Last night she strained herself beyond what she imagined and the throbbing in her side was more painful today. She was surprised she even made it through the night. Dexter stared at her firmly for a long while. As he stared she could feel the blood rushing past her ears, her teeth ached with the sensation, she wanted to close her eyes and imagine the blood dripping over her skin in a rush. The warmth intoxicating. As she took a long blink he spoke, "Okay. Who did you have in mind?" "His name is Gregory James," she said to him. "He's a well to do executive that gets off on raping women," she said to him. "That's my code," she explained. "Men who abuse women." He looked down before he looked up at her. There was a darkness there, his eyes seemed more sunken in, his face seemed more hollow. Was she seeing the real thing now? The thought made her heart thump more loudly against her chest as she got excited just thinking about it. "When?" he asked gruffly. "Tonight?"
  23. It was a blur that brought Elizabeth and Dexter back to his apartment. There was an intensity in the way they touched, the way they kissed. It was painful, like something gentle wouldn't get through to the nerves. He pushed her inside after opening the door and she grunted her excitement to him as she moved back to press her lips back into his. There were few breaks in the kisses as they removed their clothes hastily discarding them as he backed her into his room slamming her harshly against the door as his hands pressed bruisingly into her hips. His hands pulled her closer to him as the kiss slowed. She ran her nails around his back leaving red marks in their wake. He groaned into her lips pressing his fingertips harder into her flesh. The speed was astonishingly slow as they stood practically suspended in activity, her fingers moving slow, his hands had stopped. Finally it was like the world came crashing back around them and he bit her lip drawing blood. They both made an elated sound as he tugged on her hips lifting her off the ground, breaking the kiss to throw her onto the bed with a grunt of effort. He was quick to follow her covering her body with his, his hands pressed into the mattress around her shoulders. His body shifted and she felt his hand running up her leg stopping again at her hips he pressed harder with his thumb digging painfully into her skin making her moan into his lips. She moved her hands to wrap around his neck to run her nails down his back. He shifted, putting all of his weight onto his legs as he grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head. He finally broke the kiss to trail kisses down her jawline to her neck. Elizabeth leaned up and clamped her teeth on his shoulder painfully enough to get him to grunt into her own shoulder thrusting his hips into hers painfully. She bit harder on his shoulder. She released his shoulder digging her head into the mattress as she arched her back grinding her hips against his with a moan. Dexter shifted her hands to be held together by one hand, his other hand roaming down her body as he tilted his head to take her breast into her mouth. She cried out as his teeth clamped down painfully, her hips grinding where it could, starving for stimulation. His hand continued it's painful trail down her body getting to her panties, the only article of clothing she hadn't been able to remove. His fingers wrapped around the thin fabric and pulled, the elastic biting painfully into her flesh causing her to cry out again, biting her bloodied lip to keep herself from whimpering. When the fabric finally gave way to his strength she let out a sigh only to take in a sharp breath as he forcibly shoved his fingers inside of her as he clamped down on her nipple, she cried out in pain arching her back, thrusting her stomach into him. Dexter began a methodical but painful thrust of his fingers as he went back to kissing her skin as Elizabeth held back the moans by biting her lips. His lips finally found hers again a moan escaping into his lips, his hand stopping it's thrusting, like her loss of control was a punishment would be for him to stop. His fingers slide over her skin getting her wetness on her skin. He stroked her cheek before he broke the kiss using those fingers to run across her lips before he forced them into her mouth for her to suck them clean. Elizabeth closed her lips and began to suck closing her eyes as she thrust her hips into him. She felt so out of control, just like her life. She wasn't the dominate one in here and it felt amazing. Once he was done having her clean off his fingertips he pulled his fingers out of her mouth and ran them down her chin and her chest to wipe them off. Finally he sat back, pulling her hands with him. She thought for a moment that she was going to be able to appreciate his manhood as he had just done for her. Instead he released her hands and smoothed them over her arms before he forcefully flipped her over grabbing at her shoulder to put her on her hands. She instinctively pulled her hips putting her on her hands and knees. Dexter placed his hands painfully on her hips as he pulled her hips back into his. She could feel his warm thickness against her skin and she throbbed with desire but he continued to deny her what she wanted. He slapped her ass after pulling her into him again causing her to cry out and moan. She dug her nails into his blankets. "Give it to me," she demanded. His response was wrapping his fingers into her hair and pulling her back so his chest was against her, his face near to her ear. "No," he growled at her rubbing himself into her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Please," she begged. "No," he said nuzzling his face into her neck placing gentle kisses on her neck. He released his grip on her hair so he could use it to twist and pull her nipples as he teased he with his hips. "Please," she begged again. "No," he whispered harshly. The hand that was twisting and pulled at her nipple trailed across her skin and back up to her hair pulling her head back before he bent her back over continuing his methodical thrust. He leaned over her pinning her down with his forearm on the back of her neck as he reached over her to the nightstand to grab something out of the drawer that she couldn't see, her face turned toward the end of the bed. She felt the pressure release from her and packaging being removed. A short moment later her hips were picked up and he slipped inside of her wet pussy with a low grunt. She let out a sigh as he got his bearings and began that methodical rhythm from before. Elizabeth got up to her hands which put her in the perfect distance for him to grab her hair like reigns. She moaned loudly as he tugged harshly. Elizabeth could feel the build up, tried to swallow it and keep the high going and just as she got close to cumming he pulled away from her. The lack of sensation devastating. He pushed her hips over and spread her legs open thrusting himself into her as he stared at her. His darkness was very apparently the dominant thing at the moment. She cried out and he placed his hand over her mouth with one hand holding up an ankle. The pressure from him thrusting painful, he was so deep inside of her but she couldn't cry out her pain and satisfaction. She couldn't ask him to thrust harder. Finally she came moaning into his hand as she clamped her teeth down onto it, her body shuddering. He grunted at her again as he continued to thrust, faster now until his body practically stopped moving, moaning himself as he came right afterward thrusting harder before he slumped over her, pinning her to the bed still inside of her. She now had full rein of her hands and she dragged her nails up his back digging in so skin came up with it. He groaned as he bit at her shoulder but made no move to stop her. They were wordless as they lay there in each others embrace. As Elizabeth sat there underneath Dexter's weight the knowledge washed over her. She thought that it would scare her more. The knowledge. This was the beginning of the end. She wasn't even sad about it. She knew what this meant.. to her. She sighed as she closed her eyes, allowing herself to be beneath Dexter's mass as she drifted off into sleep. This was acceptance.
  24. So I got this writing prompt thing and I'm going to try and stretch my writing limbs and use it and post the short stories in here for you all to read. So look forward to them soon.
  25. Just so you all know. I'm working on a new skin.
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