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Found 18 results

  1. Morrigan

    Nervous Breakdown

    Alright, so I think I took on too much and I'm starting to feel the effects of it. I'm unfocused, I have a constant ringing headache. I want to finish things but when I start looking at it I start to feel a little panicky, which honestly, isn't anything like me. I have a few projects that have deadlines and this normally doesn't bother me but I've just been having such a hard time concentrating on it. I feel terrible, I know I'm letting people down, which just adds to my stress. I CAN DO IT. I know I can it's just the lack of focus just makes doing anything really difficult. What doesn't help? The fact that I keep having things add to the stress, like I got rear ended last week, I scraped my leg at the pool I mean it feels like a never ending pile that I can never get out from under. I have a day job, I have this other job I just don't know if I can do it without really going for it and not having the standard day job. The stress of having both, I think is the root of my issues with doing this. I want to focus but after a long day/week at work I don't feel up to working more. It's not that I want to disappoint anyone I just really really want to unwind and I feel that I'm just constantly letting everyone I know down in this situation. I am going to finish the current projects that I have and then take some time away from it for a bit and just see what I can do for priorities on this. I need to have me time and time for this so I think what really needs to happen is that I set hours for this other job. Whether it's Tues-Thursday from 5PM-9PM I think it's a boundary I need to set for myself. Help? Comments? Support? I feel like I'm drowning even though I'm not.
  2. "You've never seen anything like this next act. You've seen fire dancers and fire spinners the next act is... well a fire master. Presenting the one and only Ignaciooooooo Flint!" the man in the center spun around in a circle to the empty circus tent as if he were introducing this person. A slow clap echoed toward me from the closed entrance. "You do have quite a flair for being a ringmaster. It's too bad that I have that job." "Mordria," the man stumbled over his own shoes falling to the floor. "I... I didn't mean any offense I just...." "You just what? Felt the desire to see what it was like to be me? It's not as easy as being in an empty room," she smiled her bluish pale skin shining with a strange luminosity that only she seemed to have. He found it unnerving although her other features were equally as disturbing. The stitches near her mouth were certainly not helpful with her frown as she approached him. "I just," he swallowed hard as he scrambled to his feet, wiping himself off. "I like what you do, I wish I could do it." He didn't look to her, he knew what was coming next. She would reprimand him and tell him to stop dreaming. "Unfortunately for you young one, in a circus of the damned no one retires. Take me for example. I have been around for longer then I remember. Victim of voodoo and vampirism. I barely keep myself together yet I have not left. I cannot leave and I cannot die. I will be ringmaster for eternity," she informed him solemnly. No reprimand, no lecture. She was reaching out for his help. "Perhaps I could do your job. If you let me, give you a break for a few centuries?" "Haha," she laughed shortly a smile brought to her face. "That is cute. You cannot handle my job though," she picked up his shoes, holding them out to him. "The others would eat you alive." "Not if you help me," he pleaded as she dropped the boots into his arms. "I can do this." "The woman reached up and stroked the side of his face. "Sweet vampire," she said smiling to expose her own teeth, "what makes you think that I would let you do my job?" "You-ou-ou sound so, uh..." he looked hugging the boots to his chest. "You sounded like you needed a break. I guess I was wrong." "Oh, I'm tired but you're scared of me." "Who wouldn't be?" he gulped. "You're right," she smiled darkly to him as he started to back away from her. "If you run you might be able to get away from me. Vampire blood sustains me far better then human blood," she said with a cocky raise of her brow. The man started out of the tent from the direction that she came in, pulling on his left boot. He continued on holding his right boot in his hand. "Run, run little vampire," she whispered as she looked over her shoulder. The man continued to run through the woods between the circus and the small town. All he could hear was the thudding of his footsteps and the branches as the slapped him. He was getting away. She was going to let him live. He started to slow down a smile creeping onto his face as he slumped against the nearby tree. He breathed a sigh of relief, a human action that showed his youth. "I made it," he said quietly to himself. A light laugh came from behind the tree, "You can't think I'd give up that easily could you?" the woman said as she stepped from behind the tree, her black boots quiet even with the underbrush. The man closed his eyes shoving the picture of the woman in the black and white corset out of his mind as he began to pray muttering to himself. "If you meet her, tell her that I still want to be saved," she whispered, her cold breath on his neck. He wished this wasn't his fate, he didn't want to be stuck there forever but this? The cool lips of death brushed against the skin of his neck. Then there was the searing pain of her fangs as they sank into his neck. Slowly the pain ebbed into a soft numbness as his right shoe fell from his arm and thudded to the ground. PS. Weekend with the family was fabulous. I love you Cricket. I love you Fae. I love you Troy.
  3. So I promised myself that I would continuously update my blog but it's apparent that I didn't do that. I mean my last post was months ago and it was forever before that too. To be completely honest it's been a lack of motivation. I have been busy at work and I come home and all I want to do is RP and watch TV. The sad part is that I haven't been getting a lot of RP done. I mean I post faster then most of my RP partners and it's a little exhausting because my muse ends up on overdrive and I have to come to a full stop. I've considered writing alone again but I find it boring compared to writing with others. Then there were considerations of a web comic again but I'm just not that good of an artist but I have a ton of ideas for it. I'm still working on it though I really feel that I need to create a buffer which is the hardest part. Sadly? What I think I need is to turn off the Internet for a few days and send my BF away so that he can play with friends. Get my kids over to their grandmas house and then just draw for a weekend. If anyone has any good advice on how to stay focused I'd love some. I'm having such issues with getting focused lately. I mean I haven't even been able to sit down and code for... fuck for a year? More? I just can't seem to do it. I can concentrate for small spats but I feel like I'm constantly interrupted and I can't sit still. On a lighter note? My son is doing pretty well in Kindergarten so far! I'm looking forward to my kids' school pictures this year! They were both super cute when they left the house. My daughter is becoming a great reader. I'm hoping she'll be way better then me because I'm terrible. My son can count to 40 so far. It was a hard road to forty but it's coming around. Otherwise there isn't really anything. Site updates: New site: Trek Into the Darkness New site: Star Trek RPG Joined site: Prey Staffing at: Distant Fantasies Attempting to work on the Character Mod and get it properly functioning on install. Working on Morrgasm. Halloween costumes: Fae wants to be Catwoman. Troy wants to be Batman. I feel that I should go with this theme and make a Harley Quinn outfit.
  4. So my boyfriend today said I need to focus my site creating juices toward one site and get the traffic up enormously and then from there market and see what we can do about possibly revenuing it and making it to where I don't have to have a conventional job anymore. Thinking about it, I agree but where to start? I don't have enough motivation most of the time to keep to one project (my current ten projects proving such a thing) and figuring out a way to drive traffic to my site is elusive to me. Of course I'm sure the first site that you think I should get going is probably Morrigan's Madness and that seems almost a good idea. It's the site I've had active and going for the longest and it's also my blog but I don't know of much that I could legitimately talk about that would drive more people to my site. I don't have much originality to be honest. I talk about my strife in life and who wants to hear that? Not even I like to hear myself whine and yet I do it on here like I'm some entitled blogger or something. <_< Not really but you get what I mean. Then there is my new site splash page Morrgasm which should be some sort of Morrigan content site with links to all of my projects, what I'm working on, what I'm doing. It'll likely have a feed from here to keep the information flowing. It seems like a good idea but what would I publish to this site to make it worth visiting other then links to my other sites. Transferring content I don't think is a good thing to focus on but I think that if I make it my MAIN site then it would be worth it. It would be like the ultimate splash page. Next possibility is to really focus one of my two comic ideas. Those have the most monetary potential if you consider it. There is Morrapocalypse or Wootflakes. Now Morrapocalypse is the Apocalyptic/Dystopic Comic that is there to both teach you something about surviving a dystopia and apocalypse as well as exposing some cliches. The skin is not done and I have no presence whatsoever but it does have a domain sister of Morrdystopia that has a forum on it. Wootflakes on the other hand is a geeky little spork that has mostly nerd humor. The skin is done but needs to be re-created and I already have some basis done I would just need to focus on getting them up regularly and advertising it. My other option is RPers Anonymous which is the site that I have the most focus on but the hardest time finding a software that is worth it and I can't afford to straight upgrade my server to a VPS to get the software that mostly works and I certainly don't have a few thousand to throw down to get it made and I'd have to go back to school to get the personal knowledge because all the crash courses that I've been through doesn't really teach me proper security and security is important for what I'm looking for. So this idea is my primary one but I don't have the money to throw at it. I guess with this, if I wanted to upgrade, I could do hosting packages for RPers for small fees and it would include cPanel but I don't know I guess it would depend I'd need enough interest in it to make up for the cost of the VPS. It' would be something simple like maybe 3 bucks a month or 5 a month with Morr Support. I guess I should see how the free hosting goes first. Last one is RP Status which is mostly supposed to be an addition to RPA so focusing on it would be silly other then posting to it updates. So it wouldn't be worth it without it's counterpart and see above for the problems with that. I guess there is one other, Faerie Reverie which is supposed to be a site (whenever I finish it) about kids especially my kids even though they drive me crazy. It could be something of an ideas to play with your kids (as I normally don't see pretty sites like it) but that would require me being a more involved parent and I don't have time for it most of the time. I'd have to figure out ways to make things fun for my kids without spoiling them. Another idea is to get Sex is Business off the ground which again would require a little money from me including getting my breasts done like I want to do and fixing my teeth. This one would be the site that I have photos of myself for sell in naughty ways. This is my preferred method but I don't know how to market a site like this. It would definitely be a ton of fun starting out with certain photos and moving from there but again what to do. My other domains like Knights of Cydonia, Card Rebellion, and Brain Damage are all RPGs so they aren't something to make money off of as they are simply hobby. The others Woothappens and Lady Pirate are re-directors to other domains and I just have them for prettiness and show. So needless to say these aren't options. Now what do I want to get from my endeavors? Enough money to financially support my ability to stay at home and work on them. This is my end all goal. With that it would give me the ability to do my other desires including writing a book without the drain of muse. So needless to say I'm already blech about this all. I want so much more and I can't attain it and I can't make a decision on what to focus on. I think my primary focus (until I decide) is to get Morrgasm up so I have my proper splash site and to-do list and determine my top priority. Feel free to post your opinion of this here as I'm always looking for feedback and suggestions. If you like an idea let me know and I'll try and put more weight on that.
  5. So I love my kids and because I love my kids I work. While this is good it makes me feel slightly bad because the things that they are not succeeding in makes me feel like I'm failing. Like my daughter. I know she can read, I have watched her do it, but because I'm not there a lot of the time I feel like I'm not succeeding in helping her further her skills. I feel that my lack of reading to her while she was younger has stunted her ability to read. I feel like an all around bad mother. I know I'm not, don't get me wrong. I'm there for my kids when they need me. I'm the fluffy stern woman that keeps them safe from monsters and darkness. It doesn't make it hurt less that my daughter is struggling to read. Now with that said she's going to summer school.... Yes a kindergartener in Summer School but I'm doing this to keep her from being a 7 year old Kindergartener. It's scary to think that she's not in second grade already but I have to stay strong for that. Adding to that I miss being at home with my kids. I remember when I was able to be home all the time and it hurts not to have that connection with them anymore. :( I live with it though, not happily. On the brighter side to that my boyfriend, affectionately called Cricket, has been an extreme help and rock for me and my wishy washy-ness. He helps with keeping me on the line of being stern but leaving me to my fluff. I definitely need him and love him to death. He keeps me grounded and sane. It's very nice having someone like him in my life. He also watches my kids for me when he can while I'm at work. This by itself helps me because it means I see my kids more. It's wonderful. I guess there is more but I've lost my train of thought. Hopefully I'll get to update this more soon.
  6. Morrigan

    Bonuses

    So I am one to admit I'm not super exorbananly happy with my job but C'est La Vie. I need a way to take care of myself and my kids and so a job is required. As such I've been working hard to get a pay raise and a bonus promised for good stats and attendance. I've been anxiously awaiting for this ever possible pay raise for 5 months. I got it! I got the Pay raise. I got the bonus... Now what does that mean? I know you're thinking "Uhhh... congratulations?" well yes! This means I can get a new computer to get back into my sites and groove and I'll have it all back to normal again... Well sort of. I'm not intending to get another laptop, I'll be getting a desktop finally. I don't think I've owned a desktop since I've personally owned computers. I know my parents did. So I'm so estatic right now that I've been bounding out of my skin all week. Now all I have to do is make the decision on the computer I'm going to make or build. Just thought you all may like to know!
  7. Morrigan

    Low Self Esteem

    So this isn't a new revelation to me. It was developed in lower school grades and as I got older it didn't go away. It's still a major issue for me to know that I'm doing good or looking good or whatever rendition thereof that I need to make sure that I'm living up to or better then people's expectations of me. I know, particularly shallow of me, but it's majorly where my shiny attitude comes from. Shine on me or be shiny around me and I'm a shiny person if I don't get shined on then I'm normally gloomy. It makes sense if you think about the sun and clouds. <_< So I have my boy and I love his cute little face to death but when I start to get a little down the small amount of affection, that was getting me down in the first place most likely, drops off the face of the earth which just plummets me into a very sad and serious panda. Last night I had a breakdown. He was on the game again and I was missing my kids and my affection from any facet. I was not feeling so shiny and it's hard for me to relay these things most of the time verbally (normally I just beg for attention in other ways, shaking my bum or getting in your face or try to get touchy feely or my worst case scenario is sighy and quiet). I feel like everything I say is clouded to him because I back it up with emotions no matter what it is. He thinks it's a device or something and I just try to hide it now but that just makes me all the more frustrated. I've considered ways to approach him about it but I can't find one giving up instead and I'm afraid that if I don't find this way and keep conceding defeat then I'm going to explode (as I normally do with these things) and then all hell will break loose (as they normally do) and I don't want it to happen that way I want it to work out but I don't have a good way to say, "just because I'm depressed doesn't mean you should drop affection." it's frustrating me. I'm confused. I'm hurt all over. I know part of this is my normal lack of children interaction during the days at work. I get default affection from them, even if it's simply "MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM" or screaming and crying. I still get it and I know I'm needed and wanted. My things are always there for me and I love them all the more for that but I want the boy to be there for me to. I wish there was a "How to read signals" or "How to read minds" book that I can read and introduce to my boyfriend because I think this would fix most of my problem here. I do appreciate you guys listening to me rant. I feel a little less upset and angry about it now because I sound a little silly I know. I also know that I do need to find a positive way to negotiate an understanding of how to make me feel better when I don't feel great. Normally even forcing me to stop and just giving me a hug and a passionate kiss would help. I just like to feel wanted no matter what is gong on. The world could be crumbling around and life still wouldn't be that bad. I want this to work but I can't keep trumping what I need because he gets mad at me.
  8. So I feel that my Morrgroove or Morrmojo or Mojo-Jojo is gone and never coming back. I feel uninspired dull and downright blechy most days. I'll sit at my computer and things that make me inspired and happy to do online feel like chores. It's not supposed to be this way. My hobbies should feel fun and exciting to come home to. I should want to get all of my other stuff out of the way so I can sit down and enjoy the happy things and life. But I don't and it depresses me. So the normal responses that I'm sure I'll here is "Get a new hobby" or "If it depresses you then find out why" well I don't know why. I love being at my computer. I love writing. I love coding websites. I love making images. I LOVE Rping and yet all of these things don't inspire me at all. This could be the 12 hour days at work but really if that's what is killing it for me then why did I enjoy them in the first place? Because it killed time? I used to itch to get home and turn on my laptop and see all the amazing things I missed that day and regret missing it. Now it's just one more thing I need to do. I need my Morrmuse back. It's gone and I can't find it. If you see her please send her straight back with my brain. It would be muchly appreciated.
  9. Morrigan

    Liz Fic Part 4

    Elizabeth fell out of sync for the third class that day as she jumped up and down teaching the thirty-odd people in front of her a new routine. They didn't notice, how could they? But she could and it frustrated her. Her mind kept wandering to the man that morning, the one that looked familiar but wasn't familiar. Every time it wandered, she faltered. Who in the hell was he? Why did she recognize him? Why couldn't she get her mind off of it? Distraction 101. Think about something that draws your mind away from the task at hand. It's always a bad thing. “Liz, is something the matter?” Amanda asked her, the genuine look of concern on her students face as she approached Elizabeth after the class. “Yes. Why? Does something look to be the matter?” Elizabeth asked incredulously. “Oh, well you just look a little sad is all. See you next week,” Amanda said with a smile and a wave of her hand still holding her aerobics towel. That is why you do not get distracted, people notice. “Yeah, see you next week,” Elizabeth responded as she always did, a bright smile on her lips as everyone left the expansive room to her. Once the room was empty she moved to the wall and placed her forehead against the cool surface. “Dexter Morgan,” Elizabeth said aloud for the first time since she had seen it written on the ID badge around the man's face. “Dexter Morgan. Morgan. Morgan. Morgan. Where have I seen you before Dexter Morgan?” “Excuse me, Liz?” Elizabeth spun on her heel to face the door. Naomi the desk clerk was poking her head inside. “I'm sorry to bother you. I had tried your cell a few minutes ago. There's some officers here that say they want to see you about something,” she said indicating to over her shoulder. “You can show them in Naomi,” Elizabeth said with a wave of her hand a smile still apparent on her face. Shortly afterward she was faced with Detective Batista and Detective Morgan again. “Hello. I wasn't expecting to see you both again so soon,” she informed them. Their solemn looks told her that this visit was not good, her first instinct was to run but she stood her ground. While she often listened to those tiny instincts the instinct to flee was not one of them. Fleeing insinuated guilt. Elizabeth was not guilty. “Miss Thory,” Detective Batista started. “Liz,” Elizabeth quickly corrected. “Liz,” he said with a nod of his head. “Miss Adams' son was also found dead in the apartment.” Now that was something she was not expecting, her eyes opened wide with shock for a few moments before furrowing together in confusion. “That's terrible but what does it have to do with me?” “Well we'd like to take you down and ask you a few more questions if that's alright.” Elizabeth held a face that looked sorely confused. “I don't understand.” She was a suspect and she knew it. Talk about bringing her life under the microscope. “We just have a few questions that we need to ask you back at the station.” “Alright I guess. I don't see why you couldn't call instead of coming all the way down here,” Elizabeth said moving to grab her stuff lifting her aerobics towel off of her bag and pressing it to her sweating brow. “Well we did call you just didn't answer,” Detective Morgan interjected. “I told you I might not be able to hear you over the music,” Elizabeth countered with a smile as she pulled her bag over her shoulder. “After you,” she indicated with a single hand. What a perfect opportunity to attempt to see Dexter Morgan again. If she believed in fate she'd say it was that. The elevator dinged just before the door opened to a room that was lined with glass windows and hip high desks all in one large room. Elizabeth didn't know if she would be able to work in such a confined space like this. It was messy. She could already feel the draw on her energy just being there. Maybe that was half of the point to being brought here. The negativity made a person self conscious. Elizabeth hummed a soft lullaby tune as she walked with a smile on her face nodding as she passed a few people. They all looked so solemn, like the tedium of their job was too hard to bare. What happened when it did become too hard to bare? Is that when the noble police officers that “just do their job” become homicidal? Elizabeth wondered how many of them contemplated suicide and murder. Her eyes playfully crossed each of them her mind straying to seeing them holding a weapon of choice in their hand. She could imagine Detective Batista as a man with bloody knuckles after beating someone to death. Detective Morgan seemed more of a suicide case then a murderer, passed out with blood in her bath and pills all over the floor. A double dipper as it were. Elizabeth saw another female with blood on what she could only assume was their husband's mistresses sex whip. Another she saw with a concealing baseball cap and bat. Another had a noose around their neck as they filed away some paperwork. As Elizabeth daydreamed she was lead into what she could only assume was an interrogation room. She looked around calmly setting her bag onto the table and plopping herself into the chair to look up at the two detectives that had disappeared behind a closed door. Elizabeth frowned. That was rude of them. She quickly shrugged it off and began to look around the room swinging her feet beneath her. There was no point in being nervous. They had nothing on her even if she were to be their prime suspect for a crime she didn't commit. Wasn't it ironic? Elizabeth Thory a suspect for a crime she didn't even commit. She huffed in amusement as her eyes lingered on the camera. Was he out there? The man she knew but didn't. Dexter Morgan. After a few moments the door clicked and opened to let the Detectives into the small room. She smiled more broadly tilting her head cheerily like she had no idea what could have prompted them to bring her down here. Detective Morgan placed a file in front of her and sat down. “How well did you know the Adams' again?” she asked. “I told you that I didn't know them very well. We were neighbors, not friends,” Elizabeth responded with a shake of her head. What didn't they understand about that. “Well it appears that the boy knew you better then you thought,” Detective Morgan said as she opened the manilla folder to expose some angry looking drawings. “We found these in the boys room with your name on it,” she said flipping them around so that Elizabeth could see them. Elizabeth tilted her head furrowing her brow as she stared at the images. They were about death and how Elizabeth was a killer and about how she planned to kill him and his mother. Instead of looking alarmed she smiled more broadly and laughed. Elizabeth looked up at the officer's and shook her head in amusement. They looked at each other like she was going to confess to what they were thinking she had done. “You have to be kidding me. You brought me all the way down here to explain some pictures from an eight year old?” she said trying to contain her laughter. She rubbed her eye as she shoved the images back at her. “I did a favor for Piper a few years ago and the boy never forgave me. She didn't have the heart to take his dog to the pound so she asked me to. Unfortunately there was a miscommunication as to when I was to be over to pick him up and the boy ended up coming home when I was taking the dog out of the house. “He never forgave me for that. Check the Greenleaf Veterinary Clinic. It's under Piper's name but the dogs name was Chowder,” Elizabeth looked at them with a playful smile on their face. “If you look at the pictures there is a dog in the background of them all. Piper told me about it but never showed me the pictures,” she explained waiting for one of them to leave and check the information. “So why would he say that you were going to kill him and his mom,” Elizabeth sighed. “I don't have any idea. I'm an aerobics instructor not a psychologist,” she said with a shrug and chuckle. “You're not taking this seriously. You're neighbor is dead Miss Thory and you are our prime suspect. Where were you last night?” the scrawny brunette snapped trying to get Elizabeth to break. “Camping,” Elizabeth said plainly. “Do you have anyone that can collaborate that?” Detective Batista interjected. Not a live one. “Unfortunately not,” she answered simply. There was a tap at the door and Detective Batista went outside to see what it was about. “Just tell the truth. You killed Piper and her son and went home like any other day. What did she do to piss you off? You are bigger then her it probably wouldn't have been hard to overpower her, you're very fit,” Detective Morgan said. “Feel free to get a warrant and check to see if you can find the blood in my home,” Elizabeth informed her. “I didn't kill Piper or her son. I had no problem with them,” she explained as Detective Batista returned to the room. “You're free to leave but stay where we can contact you. No more camping,” he said with a shake of his head. Detective Morgan got up frustrated. “She's the one I can feel it,” she murmured to the other as Elizabeth collected her things. “We don't have proof Morgan,” he said gruffly back to her. “I'm sorry I'm not a great help to you both. If there is anything I can do please don't hesitate,” Elizabeth said clutching her bag closer to herself as she left. She was hoping it would throw a red flag to indicate there was something inside of it. Get them to take it back, give her time to find Dexter. “Liz,” Detective Batista called after her. “Do you mind if we look in the bag?” Elizabeth set it down on the desk she was standing next to throwing a hand out. “Not at all.” She took a few steps back, further into the open expanse of the office looking around to see if she saw him. She avoided the people that she imagined with their murder weapons or suicide of choice and looked for the familiar face amongst the crowd of unfamiliar people. Elizabeth smiled at the Detective as he looked to her while he rummaged through her bag. “I warn you there might be icky stuff in there. You may want gloves. I sweat a lot.” That seemed to get his grubby fingers out of her stuff for a second to seek gloves. He should have had those on the entire time shouldn't he have? It didn't matter much to her, they wouldn't find anything. Elizabeth's eyes went from the Detective back to looking for Dexter. This time it didn't take long. He came from around a corner. Look at that stride. He looked so confident. He was a knife man, like she was. He took a personal interest in killing his victims, or he would, if he were a murderer like her. She bowed her eyes in disappointment as she was one of the few like herself. The neat monster. Elizabeth looked back up to see his eyes on her. “Hey... you. I saw you at the crime scene earlier. What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes skillfully glazing over what Detective Batista was doing. “Apparently I'm the prime suspect,” she informed him her eyes shooting to the detective which just looked up for a moment before returning to removing things from her bag. “Oh. Well oh,” he said looking awkward. “My name is Elizabeth by the way. Please call me Liz though. Thank you again for letting me get to work earlier,” she informed him placing her hand out for him to shake. He took it. His grip was firm, one that would make most women woozy in the knees for him. “Dexter Morgan.” “Lovely to meet you Dexter Morgan,” she said with a slight lift and fall to their hands. “Now I hate to repeat myself but I swear I've seen you somewhere before,” she informed him although their hands hadn't separated. “I wouldn't know where,” he told her again. Elizabeth's eyes furrowed and she recoiled her hand as if he had burned her. She knew why he looked so familiar, it was like looking in a mirror. “My mistake then,” she informed him with a smile. If she knew then could he tell too? “All done. Sorry about the inconvenience Miss, I mean Liz,” Detective Batista said bowing his head as he stripped his hands of his gloves. “Thank you Detective. You have my cell,” she said turning back to Dexter. “Will I see you again?” she asked him. “Well after this case maybe?” he said with a shrug. She reached into a side pocket of her bag for a pen and a piece of paper. She quickly scrawled her name and number onto the pad before handing it to him. “It was great to see you again,” she informed him with a smile before she picked up her bag. She gave him and the Detective a nod before she began toward the elevator. She could hear the detective tease him. “Woo Dex. I think she's hot for you,” was all she could hear before the elevator doors slammed shut in front of her. She didn't believe “hot” was the best term for what she felt. Interested? Curious? Seduced? Probably.
  10. Morrigan

    The Red Queen

    Okay. I am not going to apologize again. I haven't been posting. It's been hectic. I'm trying to get back into everything. To add insult to injury I didn't even post the last two weeks of webcomics. I will be getting that done soon. SO! LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW UPDATES! LAST NIGHT! I was in a fashion show as the queen of spades. Are you ready to see me all scary and stuff? READY! REALLY! ARE YOU READY! *is a little hyper* http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/cese/Red%20Queen/ BE AFRAID! In some of those photos I think I look a bit like Hatchet Face from Cry Baby. Other then that I think I looked awesome. The Fashion show was fun. I mentioned the fact that I was 25 and I was told AGAIN that I didn't look 25. Confused and not sure what to think, as this was about the 5th time I've heard it in the past 2 weeks, I mentioned the fact that I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. I was told I looked 18 or 19. I felt pretty good. That's 7 years shaved off of my age so I am feeling pretty nifty at the moment. My daughter and son walked the runway as well. Troy walked with me and he did really good and my daughter walked with her best friend Avery and they got a adorable laugh and they enjoyed every second of the not waiting portions of the night. They absolutely loved the dresses my mum made, I loved the dresses my mum made and I WILL be getting more pictures soon. The ones I posted above are from after the show that I took when I got home, unfortunately everyone else got undressed pretty quickly. After the show I came home, tweeted like a mad woman and passed out! During the show some guys thought I looked awesome in my costume! My mum did a great job! Also a few looked like Glambert (aka Adam Lambert) Sadly I had more glitter in my hair then they had on them which made me a little more Glambert then them but they were still good looking. One of them looked like the actor that played John Connor in the original T2 movie. Older of course, like he had grown up, but he was really hot. Guyliner FTW! I'm moving soon. It wasn't planned but it is necessary so things are still stressful here. No promises on constant updates but I will be updating when I can. I will especially update when I'm less stressed because I enjoy giving everyone a play by play on my day. It keeps my brain a little more lucid which is good for an addled brain like mine. I'm back to RPing. I'm on two sites, one of which I own and operate. I am enjoying it but I am going to try and continue to write outside of RP but again, that whole stress deal. I've been more stressed then normal because I contracted myself to do some work and I felt a little more pressured then I would have liked. It made my brain shut down from IPB coding. I know I'm not willing to sacrifice my mind for something that will hurt me and my kids in the long run and so I'm done with that. I might still do freelance but it will have to be on my own terms. No more coding on someone else's terms or time. It is my time and my brain, people will have to live with it that way. I think that is it for now. I will post more hopefully tomorrow! Goodnight everyone!
  11. So I've still been stressed. I think I find it hard to write about my life when I'm stressed. I think that stems from the fact that if I write about my stressful life, while I'm stressed about it, it just makes me MORE stressed. It's just not very fun to say the least. So any of my loyal followers that like to read my random rants, I apologize. With the stupid stepdad stuff and then the move I've just not been all ranty and ravey. Well that's not true, I HAVE been all ranty and ravey but I just haven't been motivated to talk about it. Tonight isn't bad but I don't really have much to rave about. That is unless you count my ankle! So! I've been moving the past week and up and down stairs, lift, back pain, exhaustion right? Well this is awesome! I'm sitting here walking down the stairs with a big drawer from the armoire and I seemed to forget how the stairs worked, or the step vanished like in HP because I went from having 3 steps left until the landing to sitting on the landing floor with a hurting ankle and tears streaming down my face THIS WAS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THAT THIS HOUSE ATTACKED ME THIS WEEK! The first time I was sitting down at the computer after a long days work, relaxing on the floor when BAM! the bed frame to my bed came crashing down on my head! (Awesome I just rhymed a little) It cut my head open and I was crying then too. I swear I haven't cried that much since my husband told me that he wanted a divorce or the last time that I thought about my brother Davey. Sad days in the Morrigan house. Right now I'm hoping that my ankle will improve drastically by tomorrow. I really hate hobbling and I hate not being to help like I should. I'm a strong woman, or not a wimpy one, and so I should be lifting things not frowning and hobbling about when I can't seem to get something or it hurts because I can't walk right. The kids like the new house though. Fae was given her own Harry Potter-esque room under the stairs. It was mostly because she was complaining about it and Grandma is awesome so she gave her, her own room. Grandma-win on this one. She went to bed down there tonight and we'll see how it works out in the morning. Really I just need to get a job so I can get my own place but the economy in AZ SUCKS!!! Just thought I'd put that out there. Also, the neighbors here are very awesome! Great kid neighborhood and the parents seem very friendly. I didn't even feel like an outsider, like my kids will be set apart, no, they seem to be fitting right in which is especially awesome. So, on top of Madness fail I'm also wootfailing at my webcomic. I haven't updated for a few weeks there either. about the same amount that I've been missing posting here. I will be changing that shortly though! I intend to be doing a week of webcomics starting Monday so that you all know that I'm not dead and that I love you for reading my bizarre stuff. I hope that will make up for the weeks miss and keep you reading for the weeks to come. Website updates? I'm a domain name addict. I just bought two new domains that will probably sit dormant until I figure out what to do with them. I got Woothappens.com and RPersanonymous.com. I know what I'm going to do with RPers Anonymous, it's going to be an RP resource forum for both administrators and roleplayers. It will probably start off on something self-hosted but if it grows enough I think I will ask for donations to upgrade it to IPB. (IPB is by far the best forum software in the world) As for Woot Happens I think that I might make it into some sort of site that you can submit your Woot moments and link it to Wootflakes. We'll see. ^_^ I think that's it for now. Nighty Night everyone! Unpleasant dreams.... or whatever that Elvira lady used to say.
  12. It was all there. All familiar. All necessary. It was like a checklist in her mind as she went about the tasks of her job. As each thing was completed she was able to tick off the box and continue to the next. If something wasn't completed it messed with her balance, it made her irritable and it just became messy. She wasn't messy. She ticked off the box in her mind of preparation. The tools of her trade were neatly laid out on the table beside her, a shimmering display of silver on a mat black tray. Each glimmering item had a story, each one had a use but they weren't always used. Her job didn't always require the use of each of them even if she wished that it did. Another box in her mind ticked off as the man began to breath rapidly and wriggle in his confinements. She quietly hushed him like a mother would a screaming child, cooing softly and running her fingers over his half bald head. “Hush, it will all be over soon. Once I have what I need then you will be free to go. It's an easy trade. The faster you give it to me, the faster your able to leave,” she smiled, her white teeth shining down at him. She always thought that it gave a false sense of security. Made them think good things, making her job easier. What she didn't know was that her sweaty face and exposed part of her body, the smeared dark lines around her eyes, the scraggly hair around her face made her bared teeth made her appear more like an alligator. “What am I doing here? Let me go you stupid bitch! Let me out of here! Do you know who I am?” the man yelled at her angrily. She hummed quietly as she frowned. She checked off the initial anger in her mind. Even if she didn't like it she knew that it was necessary. Without it, or despair, then the entire thing didn't work. She just happened to prefer the despair over the anger. Gently she tapped the top of his head as she stood up straight and moved outside of the man's peripheral vision. He began to thrash more violently. “I already told you how I would let you go, are you ready to give me what I want?” she asked him calmly, the clinking metal of her tools causing the man to pause in his thrashing to attempt to discern what she was doing. She looked over her shoulder at him, his head pushing against the restraints in attempt to peer over at her, “Wha-what do you want?” he asked gulping hard. Probably his pride, he had asked her if she knew who he was. She did, it was one of her check marks. It was required before continuing through her course of actions. She smiled to herself as she lifted a needle and an object that looked similar to a melon baller. “What do I want?” she echoed after a few moments delay. She tinked the objects together before she turned to face the man again. “I think you'll be able to accommodate me without much effort,” she explained as she walked back over to the side of the table where he was strapped, the ominous click of her heels echoing in the otherwise empty room. She leaned over the man, the sweet, alligator-like, smile still on her face. “What I want from you is your voice and your life,” she explained to him as his trashing started again, more violent then before. “You're the one.... the one from the news! The Bay Harbor Butcher...” She tilted her head back and laughed. It wasn't a light laugh. No. It was more of the type of laugh that you hear out of a truly amused person, the deep guttural chuckle of someone truly entertained. Her laugh came to an abrupt halt as she slammed her hands on the table beside him, her earlier sweet smile turned into a true snarl of rage. “Don't insult me with your media trash. I'm ten times the serial killer then the Butcher was. I leave a legacy of death in my wake. You should feel honored to be a victim of mine,” she said the rage falling off of her face almost as quickly as it came. She pushed herself gently away from the table where the man lay, her head tilting from side to side as she mulled over a thought in her mind. “If you must know who I am then I will tell you. I'm Elizabeth. I'm not in the news, and intend to stay that way,” she explained as she lifted the tools in her hand to eye level. “Elizabeth what?” the man asked, his voice quavering with the fear and understanding he lacked moments ago. “Elizabeth will do,” she informed him noncommittally as she discreetly leaned over the table and lifted the slender needle up. “Now it's time for that voice that you promised me,” she said to him as the needle's point sank into the soft flesh of the eye. The screaming echoed in the small room as Elizabeth marked another box off in her mind. She set the other tool down, leaving the needle in the man's eye. She retrieved another item from the tray, the man's whimpering intensified as it heard the rattling around. Elizabeth grabbed a scalpel and with a deft movement it was sank deeply into the man's flesh. She pushed hard, wiggling the instrument to get a louder sound from the man.......
  13. Morrigan

    Divorced

    Just wanted to let you all know... it is official! I am divorced. It was about an hour of deliberation in ERC (Early Resolution Council I think) and my ex is insane and obviously doesn't know how much it costs to take care of two kids. Like seriously..... whatever though... Totally over it. He thinks he's poor and picked on. I'm taking care of two kids, living at home without a job.... still.... after a year of freakin' looking I still don't have a job. I hate the job market. T_T It really sucks being out of the job industry for almost 4 years now, especially when my major was in a computer industry. 4 years lost in Computers is like 20 years lost in work... it seems impossible to catch up sometimes. Well..... yay being divorced and now onto bigger and better things. I'm considering writing a web comic. Maybe. I'm not too funny so it would be interesting.... That being said... I'm also not a very good artist so it would be interesting. ALTHOUGH! I did put the spork for Wootflakes onto the computer after my brother sort of designed him with my inspiration.... He's not all that great though. It's an idea though. Have a good day everyone. ^_^
  14. Morrigan

    Interview

    So I'm going to make this quick because this makes me sad. I had my interview yesterday and I thought it went pretty well. Today I got a call back to inform me that I did not get the job. So sad days. Otherwise the day was good. I hope your day was good too. ^_^
  15. Okay... Admittedly that was terrible. I should not use overused movie quotes as my titles but really? I was just in the mood. Maybe this means I need to watch 300? I don't know. Perhaps. Well updates! Yesterday was a fantastic day!! I got a call back for a job! Even better? It's at University of Phoenix. I wasn't prepared for the Phone Interview that came with the call but I guess I did swimmingly as they want a face to face interview on Wednesday! Now I need to plan my outfit. I was thinking my Green Jacket with something cute. I was hoping I might have the money to buy something worth my time to wear to an interview, because I don't think anything I have is nice enough, IMHO, so I will be trying to put together something that pronounces my good attitude in life. If I get the job you bet I would be absolutely fantastic at it! I really need one and working at UoP would also mean that I could go back to school. You KNOW I would take advantage of that! What else? Well I'm teaching my daughter a Noisettes song, Specifically Never forget you. It's cute to see her sing it with the first lines specifically. "Whatcha drinkin'? Rum or Whiskey? What don't cha have a... double with me?" So cute and she's just starting to remember them without me. :) When she gets it all down I'm recording it and youtubing! Look forward to that! Otherwise, life is normal I think. Bills to pay... Headaches to get.... Eyes to gouge out. You know, the usual. <3 everyone have a good time!
  16. Today was filled with cleaning and being a little upset. I guess I just find things unfair when you expect certain leisures to be reciprocated but they aren't. Le sigh. I'm just a bit on the grouchy side. I'm trying to find a Yoga tape or something I can do with my kids in the morning. I think if I do some exercise I might feel better and not be so grouchy all of the time. It's a hope and I think it would help me lose a bit more of that weight that I'd like to lose. Really I wish I could find my Wii Fit disc and all of my cords and things that miraculously disappeared - which I'm very upset about, Wii-motes are not cheap - and get my Wii up and running. I really adore the Wii Fit game as I am able to concentrate and I really find it relaxing. Maybe I'll just give in and when I get a job, buy a new one. If I ever get a job. :( I sent a few pictures to TwitPic today. The one of me - or half of me as it were - was taken by my daughter Fae. The rest were random ones, some I took a few weeks ago, The eyeball ones I took today. :D I think - if I can convince my mum to pay for the development of the pictures and the Digital disc - that I would like to take all new pictures of Fae and Troy for the Faerie-Reverie site. I am still working on MM, I'm actually in process of making animated gifs for my splash page. I am looking for a nice gallery software, if anyone has suggestions I would love any. I would like to be able to easily skin it and feature pictures. I would mostly be putting pictures of me and my kids and then any art-work that I post on dA. Well I love everybody. I hope you are having a fantastic day! <3
  17. Morrigan

    Mid-Day update

    Well I'm posting a mid-day update. I think I have the layout tacked down pretty well. I really like it and it appears to look good in both FF and IE! YAY! So that being said I need to do some content updates, fix the About and Contact pages as well as adding a few others, and vuala all will be ready. I will probably be adding Google Adsense so that I can hopefully earn enough money to keep my websites going while I'm still on a job hunt. I think I will be looking into working for Census, if I can get a job there it will get me something for now. I still have to add some links and stuff to my sidebar, specifically to sites like, Twitter, DeviantArt, Facebook, a Gallery for pictures of me, my main site and I think that would be it. So look for those links!! Maybe I'll put up a poll to choose my next site to work on and complete. Which would you guys think? Wootflakes, CheesyGenius, Faerie-Reverie, CorruptedCarousel, Dragonheart-Costumes, or another page for Morrigan's Madness? Comment or tweet me @captainmorrigan
  18. So I started this up tonight and hopefully I won't lose momentum and stop doing it. I have a lot of websites to get done and I've been neglecting them for months. I really just need to get my pansy ass in gear and finish them. I need to create a banner and layout for My brothers site, My daughters site, My Mom's site and 3 of my own sites. I have so much stuff to do and yet I don't do it though I'm sure I could get it done in less then a week if I put my mind to it. On that note I'm also going to try and bunker down, get my books read and find a job. I've been looking, like a mad-woman, but still nothing. T_T It's so depressing that I can't find anything with my decent amount of computer skills. I mean the least I could do is maybe get a job tutoring people on how to use their computers since I'm pretty crafty like that. So if you need a computer tutor please contact me. >_> I have to make a living somehow. I'd appreciate if you are looking at the site to tell me what you think of the layout. I got the idea from a free Wordpress layout but I did all of the images and stuff by myself. There are a few graphics and brushes that I don't have the original authors site to anymore so please let me know if you know where to find the links to the sites for anything missing a credit. Soon to come still will be a completely finished layout. More pages. More Links. Links to my other sites with images.... Fantastic more stuff. I don't want to list it because I think having a goal sometimes feels foreboding so I never finish things. Once I get Morrigan's Madness complete I will work on my other sites so stay tuned!!
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