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Some days I wish there were more hours in the day. If there were more hours in the day I could get more time to do things, spend more time with my kids and sleep more. All the things I feel I need but never feel I have time to do. I mean I have plenty of time with my kids (because I guess having a want for more time with my kids makes me a terrible mother or something like that) but more time would always be nice. I mean who wouldn't want to hear more stories from your kids or help them more on their counting or the letter B that they can never seem to remember? I don't know. I am taking five minutes of my time to type this up because I with I had more time to do this and work on other projects but I have to sacrifice each of them for something else that I need to do or someone else I need to see. I swear, if I can suggest something, never become an adult. being an adult sucks. Kid 4 life!
So I love my kids and because I love my kids I work. While this is good it makes me feel slightly bad because the things that they are not succeeding in makes me feel like I'm failing. Like my daughter. I know she can read, I have watched her do it, but because I'm not there a lot of the time I feel like I'm not succeeding in helping her further her skills. I feel that my lack of reading to her while she was younger has stunted her ability to read. I feel like an all around bad mother. I know I'm not, don't get me wrong. I'm there for my kids when they need me. I'm the fluffy stern woman that keeps them safe from monsters and darkness. It doesn't make it hurt less that my daughter is struggling to read. Now with that said she's going to summer school.... Yes a kindergartener in Summer School but I'm doing this to keep her from being a 7 year old Kindergartener. It's scary to think that she's not in second grade already but I have to stay strong for that. Adding to that I miss being at home with my kids. I remember when I was able to be home all the time and it hurts not to have that connection with them anymore. :( I live with it though, not happily. On the brighter side to that my boyfriend, affectionately called Cricket, has been an extreme help and rock for me and my wishy washy-ness. He helps with keeping me on the line of being stern but leaving me to my fluff. I definitely need him and love him to death. He keeps me grounded and sane. It's very nice having someone like him in my life. He also watches my kids for me when he can while I'm at work. This by itself helps me because it means I see my kids more. It's wonderful. I guess there is more but I've lost my train of thought. Hopefully I'll get to update this more soon.